| Subject: Diane |
Author:
Maximus
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Date Posted: 21:19:34 12/04/08 Thu
Title: Diane
Author: Maximus
Disclaimer: The JAG characters portrayed in this fanfiction remain the sole property of their creators, Bellisarius productions, CBS Television, Paramount Studios and to other so affiliated with the original copyright of the property. This fanfiction is not intended as an infringement upon these rights. It is meant for entertainment purposes only. All other original characters, story ideas, and the story itself are the sole property of this author. All characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual people are purely coincidental.
Rating: NC-17 for Adult language and concept.
Pairing: Harm/Sarah
Summary: Sarah helps Harm come to terms with Diane’s memory.
5th season:
Saturday
February 05
Sarah answered the door even though it was still dark outside because she knew he would be there very close to 05:30 like they decided the day before. He entered in old sweat pants and a hooded pullover hooded sweat shirt. His appearance was not good, not good at all. His features were very drawn and it was obvious he did not have underwear on because everything was hanging free and bulging a little. (or maybe that should be “a lot”)
(S) Harm, what happened to you? You look like you have been hit by a truck.
(H) No sleep. I keep thinking and every time I tried to sleep, all I could think about was Diane. You would think I would be over everything about her by now.
(S) Don’t beat yourself up about it. You evidently loved her very much.
(H) Yea, maybe, but I want to be able to move on. I want so much out of life and I know I can’t have it with a memory.
(S) Harm, would you rather cancel for today because I can see you don’t feel good?
(H) No, no. I need to run and exercise and maybe I will finally get past it so I can sleep. I don’t want you to miss our run either.
(S) OK, but lets’ take the 4 mile course instead of the 7 miler. That will be enough for me today because it is cold out there. Ride with me and leave your car.
Sarah finished dressing warm and they made it to her vette. She drove slowly thru the snow and pulled into the lot where they started from most of the time. They stayed close to the warmth of the car as they stretched and limbered up as much as they could.
She set the pace and watched Harm closely as they ran quietly thru the cold morning air. Harm remained silent most of the time and only answered her when she asked questions. By asking, she found that Harm was dealing with his feeling for Diane again and the way he linked his words together, it sounded like he was trying to finish or end his preoccupation with the feeling he had for her now that she had been dead for an extended time. She then realized he might be trying to get past Diane before he could open up his heart totally to the love she had for him and hopefully the love he had for her.
Harm was exhausted and feeling miserable when they both returned to the car. She had watched him and formed a preliminary plan to find if she was right and deal with him as best she could. They wrapped the towels they had brought about their necks to retain the heat for their ride back to her place. They laced their fingers together to make sure if one fell in the snow and ice, the other would be able to give support. They continued the hand holding to her door and broke apart so she could open the door.
(S) OK, my tired squid, do you want food or something to drink?
(H) Bottled water would be good.
She went to the refrigerator and picked up a bottle and brought it to him.
(S) When you finish, I want you showered, in my bed and asleep before I go to the grocery store. I don’t want to hear anything out of you until you get enough sleep to become my favorite squid again. You scare the hell out of me when you get this messed up. I believe it is time you get closure about your feelings about Diane since she will never be able to return. I believe you owe me that much.
(H) I agree. I am sorry you have to put up with me when I get like this.
(S) Harm, I don’t mind “putting up with you” like you put it. But ………………………… I think you are still letting some things get in the way of important things between you and me.
(H) I know………………. and I will try to do better.
(S) OK. To the shower and then to bed with you so I can go shopping and get some of those muffins we like so much.
(H) I need a favor. Come lay with me until I go to sleep.
(S) I will if you quit wasting time and jump in the shower. I don’t want you to stink up my red sheets. Get!
Sarah was a bit surprised when Harm opened the bathroom door with only a towel wrapped around his lower part and made his way under the covers on her bed. She walked around and crawled under the covers and hugged his back. He turned, moved until her head was on his chest, and planted a sweet kiss in her hair before going off to dreamland.
Sarah waited until his breathing became calm and slower before she unwrapped herself from him and went to the bathroom for her shower. She re-dressed and left for groceries.
She returned a little after 11:00 and found him sound asleep and seemed at peace. She chose quiet things to do around the apartment trying not to wake him. She heard him scream “Diane” around 15:00 and immediately entered the dark bedroom finding him distraught and only partially awake.
(S) I’m here sweetheart!
(H) Diane, why did you leave me? Come and let me make love to you.
(S) I didn’t want to leave you but he killed me anyway. I wish I could make love to you but that is now impossible. You really don’t want me anyway; you want your partner, Sarah MacKenzie. You kept saying her name over and over as you slept. Are you in love with her?
(H) Yes. Yes. I am in love with her. I worship the ground she walks on. She stands beside me and makes every one of my days worth living.
(S) Why is it that you have never tried to make love to her? She has a heart overflowing with love for you and she deserves to be cherished and loved as only you can.
(H) I have wanted too since the day I met her but I am so afraid she doesn’t share my feelings?
(S) Sweetheart, I know for a fact that she has tried to get you to commit to her all the days she has known you. She has been waiting for so long for you to make love to her. Would you like her to come to you so you can tell her how you feel about her?
(H) Yes. I have dreamed of the day she might want me and I already know that she is the only one for me.
(S) Harm, we both can’t live in your heart as the most important woman in your life. I loved you good while I was alive but now Sarah is the one that can love and give you everything you deserve. She is waiting to be loved by you if you truly want her above all others.
(H) Diane, I am so sorry for what happened to you and I feel guilty that I have found Sarah to take the place you once occupied. If you know where she is, can you help me find her?
(S) I know where she is and I will bring her to you after you promise you will love her for the rest of your life.
(H) I promise.
(S) Sweetheart, when you think of who you love from now on, think only of her. My time with you was sweet but it is now past. Sarah will love you more than life itself and never think of me again.
(H) I promise.
Sarah stood and moved out of the room closing the door behind her. She stripped completely and strategically applied some of the special perfume Harm gave her every Christmas and re-entered the room. She came to the bed and found him asleep.
She moved close so he could smell the perfume before she spoke:
(S) Harm, wake up for me. Diane said you were ready for me.
Harm woke with a start and gazed upon her and took in her whole body as reality set in.
(H) Sarah, I am ready to make a life with you if you will have me.
I am in love with you and Diane told me you share the same feelings. Is it possible that you do?
(S) Yes Harm. I love you too and I want to marry you so my life can be complete. Will you now make love to me and take me as your wife?
(H) Yes, I will after you pinch me to make sure this is not just another dream like so many I have had about you. Are you just a dream?
(S) No, I am more than a dream. I am the lady that intends to make every dream you have ever had come true.
Harm slowly pulled her into her own bed and quickly rolled her under him. He took his time and did everything to her that he knew would bring her joy and fulfillment. Since this “first time” was going to be their last, nothing was spared. They spent all of the evening and night with only one combined purpose in mind.
Sunday morning found them asleep together until about noon. They finally got up, showered, dressed and ended up over at Bud and Harriet’s house for brunch and advice. They told of their commitment to one another and Harriet helped with quick plans for a wedding.
Before going to bed Sunday evening, they both agreed the name of their first born female child would definitely be named Diane. As Sarah was dressing in the skimpy night wear that she knew Harm would go wild over, she was very pleased that her plans had all worked so well on a cold winter day. And as they say, the rest is history.
finis
Semper Fi
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