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Date Posted: 00:32:43 07/02/09 Thu
Author: TR
Subject: November 2008 HBX Challenge FF: The words

This is a very short, all dialog scene I came up with off the top of my head as an example of free writing dialog, and was order by the demanding , umm…I mean dear friend I was chatting to, to post it on the board.

I’m using the dialog for the November 2008 challenge. Because it’s sooo damned sexy! LOL!

I hope you like it.

The words
By TR

“Breathe for me.”

“I…can’t.”

“Your heart is racing.”

"Nerves I guess."

"Just nerves?"

*SIGH* "No. You know it's not just nerves..."

"Then what is it?"

"You know what it is."

"I want to hear you say it."

"Why? Why do I have to say it?"

"Because if you say it, then maybe I'll say it back. And if I say it back, then maybe..."

"Maybe?"

*SIGH* "Maybe it'll break this vicious cycle. Maybe we won't find ourselves in this same place six months from now. Maybe we'll be...happy."

"What if it doesn't work that way?"

"We won't know how it works, until we try. Why can't we just try?"

"Because..."

"Because?"

"Because I won't survive it if we fail."

"So you'd rather stay in this place. Not lovers, not friends?"

"If that's all I can have of you, I'll take it."

"What makes you think you can't have more of me?"

"You told me I can't."

"Mac, that was years ago. What's it going to take for me to convince you that things have changed?"

"Say it."

"What?"

"Say it. You say it first, don't say it back. Say it first. Say it first, and mean it."

"And if I do?"

"That will convince me."

"And if I don't?"

"That'll also convince me...that I was right in the first place."

"Okay...come here."

"I am here."

"Come closer. MMMM...Your heart is racing again.

"You're touching me."

"Yes I am. Now close your eyes, I want you to hear me." *whispered* "I love you."

End of scene.
Good? Bad? Athlete's foot? Let me know.

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Replies:

[> *melt* I'm amazed how you expressed so much emotion and action only with dialog; I could *see* them while reading! Beautiful; it made my heart flutter. -- Colie... it's good to have demanding friends ;-), 01:42:23 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> Definitely not Athlete's Foot!! I'm with Colie all the way...beautiful. What I would have given to see this!!! You should definitely post more!! NEXT!!! -- JagfanNat, 02:26:03 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> Siiiiiigh. You have a marvelous way with words, TR -- Staz, 03:19:27 07/02/09 Thu [1]

And as usual, I completely agree with Colie, esp. regarding demanding friends ;-)

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[> Beautiful. -- BlueJay, 05:23:36 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> WOW...Did it just get hot in here? Definitely VERY GOOD. I too could see them in just the dialog. How soon till you write another? -- Christa, 07:21:27 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> Very good! See, we don't need the whole plot and storyline! -- tamk3, 07:54:47 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> Beautifully succinct! -- Jubellant, 16:42:24 07/02/09 Thu [1]


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[> Lovely! Thanks for this TR -- Cece, 11:43:33 07/03/09 Fri [1]


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[> Oh, this was wonderful! Very few people could write such a powerful scene with only dialog! Great job! -- JAG Junkie (Ronda)--I loved it!, 14:30:35 07/03/09 Fri [1]


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[> I'm not sure who your demanding friends are, but we owe them a giant thank you. This dialogue was simply *superb*! -- Ella, 14:08:06 07/05/09 Sun [1]


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