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Date Posted:21:46:49 06/05/12 Tue Author: Newbie Subject: The Importance of Today Ch. 12 - Repost
Hello everyone! Just thought you'd all like to know this is the last chapter of the story. An epilogue will follow just as soon as I put the finishing touches on it. Hope you enjoyed this story!
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Mac entered the house and her eyes immediately searched for Harm, knowing this was something that couldn't be put off any longer. So she summoned up all the courage in her being and headed towards the kitchen where Harm was seated. It wasn't until she reached the island that she noticed he was in deep conversation with Grams while holding the little box in his hands, rolling it between his palms, almost as if it was going to bring him some strength.
Mac passed Harm and Grams in the kitchen, leaving Trish behind at the island and headed out the back door of the kitchen onto the porch. Harm could see her through the screen door leaning against the post by the top of the stairs, looking out over the farm with her arms wrapped around her mid-section, trying to fight off the cold that was coming from within. He sighed heavily hoping it wasn't too late for them.
Grams reached over and patted her grandson's arm in encouragement. "I'm sure everything is going to work out for the best, dear." He looked up and sent her a small smile of thanks before saying, "God I hope so," and getting up from his stool. Trish patted his back as he walked passed her, silently wishing him luck as he headed out the back door towards Mac.
The screen door squeeked, signaling his arrival on the porch. Mac heard the boards creek as he made the few short steps towards her. Even in a time of slight anguish just knowing he was there made her heart flutter. 'You got it bad, MacKenzie,' she thought to herself.
Harm leaned against the rail, his lower back resting on the banister of the porch, while looking at Mac from the side, her back towards his front. He waited for several moments to see if she had any reaction to him being there, however she had none.
Mac knew he didn't deserve this type of treatment from her but all the couarge she mustered up earlier seemed to have left her being, leaving her feeling weak and vulnerable. With a soft sigh she said to herself, 'Suck it up marine,' then turned to face Harm. What she saw took her breath away. He looked at her with such raw emotion it made her go weak in the knees. He loved her, she knew that, for quite some time if she were to be truthful to herself. But there was something burried underneath all that in his eyes that she almost missed…doubt?
She took a step closer to him, almost as if she were going to look closer at what she was seeing. But within the span of a few seconds it was gone and now all she could see in his eyes was hope.
Harm looked closely at Mac while she was studying him. She'd been crying again…and recently based on the tear tracks that were still slightly visible on her cheeks along with the red-rims that housed her dark chocolate eyes. But whether she realized it or not to him she was still beautiful. His instinct was to reach out and hold her but he couldn't do that just yet, not until they started to sort through this situation.
Harm opened his mouth to speak but stopped short once he seen Mac begin to talk. "How long have you had it?" He didn't bother prolonging his answer, knowing that wouldn't solve anything. So instead he responded quickly but saying in a voice just loud enough for only her to hear, "I bought it the week before the Admiral's dining out. It was around the time I accepted the fact that you were the one for me."
Mac's voice briefly caught in her throat at Harm's declaration. Sure she's had men tell her that they loved her, but looking back on those instances she knew they weren't real. None of those instances were a real love that could withstand anything. None of those relationships meant nearly as much to her as her relationship with Harm does.
She knew that Harm loved her, at this point everyone seemed to know about his feelings for her. But it was the way he said it that got to her. Never in her life had she ever felt an over-powering warmth spread through her at such an assertion. That's when she knew, that she felt the same way about him too.
"Why are you so afraid of me?" And just like that the air left her lungs. 'Does he really believe that?' she thought to herself. Mac tilted her head and looked at him quizzically before resting her hand on his arm, making the first physical connection with him since he stepped foot outside.
"Please tell me you don't believe that." After a moment of silence in which she hoped for a response from him, she stated, "I'm not afraid of you, Harm." He looked down at her then, his defenses slowly washing away. "It's not you that I'm afraid of; I'm afraid of me and my actions." At his look of confusion she clarified.
"I know that I love you, Harm, of that much I'm certain. But I don't know how to act like I love you."
"When we were just friends I knew what I could and couldn't say; I knew that I had to keep my distance and not touch you. I knew how to bounce back from any disagreement we might have had as friends. But this is something that is totally different for me."
"If we fight as a couple, I won't know how to react. And if I say something that I shouldn't, how am I supposed to know that we'll be okay after that?"
Harm looked intensely in her eyes and seen that these were all valid, current issues and insecurites that Mac had been dealing with. He inhaled deeply and lowered his head slightly closer towards hers and responded.
"You're not supposed to know how to react and respond during or after a disagreement. No one is a fortune teller, Mac. Part of having a healthy, adult relationship means there will be some disagreements. It doesn't mean that we'll fail or that we'll give up. It means we're going to work through whatever problems arise and get over them…together. Because this isn't something that I want to screw up."
He gave her a minute to take in what he had said before continuing in a voice just above a whisper. "As far as you not knowing how to act towards me now that we're more than friends, that's something that comes naturally. If you feel like holding my hand," Harm moved his arm, allowing Mac's hand to easily slide into his, their fingers entwining immediately. "then reach out and grab a hold of it. And if you feel like holding me close," he put the small box down on the banister of the porch while he took Mac's arm and wrapped it around his waist, pulling her flush against him. "don't be afraid to do so, I won't complain." He gave her a flirtacious wink, causing her to giggle and blush all while attempting to hide her face in his chest.
"And another thing Mac," Harm waited until she looked up at him to continue. Once she did he used his free hand and gently brought it to her face brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes before slowly trailing his fingers around the outer shell of her ear, pushing that pesky strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't want you to ever be afraid to tell me how you feel because you'll always get an 'I love you' out of me in return."
After Harm was sure Mac fully heard and understood what he said he closed the short gap between them and placed his lips over hers, in his eyes sealing their fate. It was a soft kiss, nothing like the two they've shared over the weekend. It wasn't just a peck or a taste and it wasn't over-powering with exploding emotions. On the contrary, it was slow and loving, like they were each silently telling the other that this was it, this was where they wanted to be for the rest of their lives, with each other.
Slowly, Harm backed away from the kiss, knowing there was still one last thing they needed to get to the bottom of before they left the farm and headed back home. With Mac's head rested on his chest and one hand holding her to him, he used his free hand to pick up the small box from the banister of the porch and held it in front of Mac.
"What do you suppose we do about this?" Harm knew he wasn't getting rid of it. One way or the other, whether it was now or later, the only way the ring was leaving the box was when it took up residence on Mac's finger.
Mac sighed heavily and thought hard about what to do. She knew she wanted to be with Harm, and she knew she was never going to leave him, but there was still something that wasn't quite right, so she told him so.
She held the box in her hand for a few moments contemplating on what to do before finaly handing it back to Harm. She looked up and into his eyes before saying, "I think we should wait."
Harm couldn't help but feel even the slightest bit of disappointment at her answer and Mac quickly put him at ease. "Believe me Harm, when I say that there is nothing that I want more than to be your wife, I just think it's too soon. This," she motions with their entwined hands towards Harm then herself, "is still too new and fragile. I want to enjoy this for a little while before we make such a big step. I'm not saying 'no,' I'm simply saying 'not right now,' okay?"
Harm looks down at her with love and adoration in his eyes. 'Why wouldn't it be okay?' he thought to himself. 'My future is already set, it's just going to take some time to get there.' He nods his head in response and places the box in his pants pocket before giving her a soft kiss to the lips.
"C'mon Marine," he says softly, "let's go pack so we can head home." Harm led her into the house, holding her hand the entire way.
-- they need some time to figure out how to be a couple before they dive into something as important as marriage. I'm really looking forward to your epilogue to see how your resolve everything!
