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>>Hi Claire, If by any chance you happen to check back >so long after leaving your message I do apologise for >not replying before. It is very hard to get in the >head of a person who has been through the abuse of >being in care in the past without knowing the reasons >your mum was in care its a bit harder, if through no >fault of her own like many boys and girls it is in >their heads every day why them you must try and >forgive her for the way you were brought up it wasnt >as if she was looked after in a nice cosy home >envireonment and taught how to behave and to love >another person or be loved a lot of these kids who are >adults now say to me " we are not family people were >never brought up like it so dont know how to be like a >family," the nightmares of what they went through are >with them every night and every day and anything can >trigger a bad memory, what makes it worse for us is >that we know we cannot take it away or make it better >we can just be there to take the flack when they have >a flasback or panic attack this means a lot to them >although most of the time they cannot express to us >how they feel. Just let her know you are always there >for her its like a sort of role reversal in a way and >just remember you might think you may not have been >loved but take it from me you were and are and that >its like a sort of illness that you cant just take a >pill for it never goes away and your mum is still here >unlike some people who couldnt cope with the memories >and questions of what happened to them. >Feel free to email me honey if you ever need to I am >always here and sorry again that I missed your message >xxx

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