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Date Posted: 19:17:52 01/12/03 Sun
Author: Becky
Subject: My Baby, Reva Shane

I lost my cat yesterday. I had her for 17 years. I think the hardest part was how fast she went. She was fine up until Thursday. She was playing as if she was a kitten till that point. She couldn't eat and just kept throwing up. She wouldn't allow me to pet her. This is the only pet that I've had for so long. I waitied 2 days and decided to take her to the vet. She always loved to eat and she wasnt eating any longer. I thought it might just be a virus or something.

I had noticed over the past few months that she was eating more and drinking alot. Drinking large amounts of water. I wanted to take her then to the vet thinking she might have kidney problems however, she seemed ok and playing as if she was a young kitten. I know she was getting older but, I just was not ready to deal w/the loss of her. This was my first cat I ever had. My sister brought her to us in 1986 from college, i was 9 at the time and so excited to have a pet. She was rowdy and loved to play. She loved to eat and you could tell. I tried over the years to keep her weight down but she insisted on eating.

This cat was always near me. When I was sick she was there. When I was upset and crying she would comfort me. Every meal she was eating at her bowl w/my entire family. She was a big part of the family. We all grew to love her. Even my nieces and nephews when they came over loved to see her. When i went on a trip she was there to greet me when i came home. When i came home from work she was at the door waiting for me too.
I think the hardest part of it is how fast it was. Over the course of three days she became so sick. She wouldnt allow me really to pet her anymore and normally she would love that and come to me for it. She was restless and had trouble getting comfortable even after i made a place for her to rest. She moved from room to room trying to find comfort to no avail.

When I brought her to the vet i had 2 choices. I thought they would simply give me medicine for her to get better. He said the could place her in the hospital on an IV, take a full blood count, Xrays. He suspected diabetes, and liver damage. The cost was outrageous. It's horrible that the prices are so high. I was ready to make the expense b/c i loved her so dearly. He said he didnt think she really had much longer to live even if he ran all these tests b/c of her age and health. I told him this happened so fast and she was fine 2 days ago. He then told me i could put her to sleep. My mother was w/me and thought that was best. I didnt agree and wanted to get all the tests done. I wonder if i should have just taken her home that day. I have trouble thinking about it b/c i think my decision was made in hast.
The doctor did put her to sleep finially. I never saw something die before this was my first time. The nurse held her i pet her and told her, "I Love you Baby, it's ok". With that she relaxed layed on her side and was gone. The cat i had all these years was gone in a few short seconds. It was too much to see and im having trouble dealing w/it. I dont think i could get another cat after this b/c i adored her so much. She was such a faithful compainon and would follow me everywhere.

I decided to get her ashes to scatter in my yard. She never was an outdoors cat but, she loved to watch birds and animals from the windows of the house. I thought it was best to scatter them where she loved to gaze from afar.

I wonder how long it will take before the pain and shock goes away. I've had dreams w/her in them and she wont let me pet her in them, like she is distant and upset. I have so many memories but these her last moments of life consume me b/c i wanted to see her go. Does anyone else feel like this. Does anyone else feel perhaps they should have waited or did i make the right decision. I have no idea if i did the right thing, i had trouble seeing her be sick and most of all being distant. I love you Reva Shane and will never forget you. You were my first cat and brought so much joy to our home.

Love Becky xoxo

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