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Date Posted: 17:11:40 06/01/03 Sun
Author: Stephanie van Renswoude
Subject: Re: My beautiful Rose
In reply to: Renee Smith 's message, "My beautiful Rose" on 20:59:06 05/24/03 Sat

Dear Renée,

My name is Stephanie. I am 28 years old and live in The Netherlands. After reading your story, I feel like we are going through the same terrible experience. Our dog Mees, a flatcoated retriever just turned 7 in April. Three weeks ago, he suddenly (after a day of being his usual playful self) did not want to get up anymore. We took him to the vet. He thought Mees had a torsion of the stomach. He was treated and the acute situation seemed to be under control. A week later Mees still hadn't recovered and we insisted on the vet making x-rays. The x-rays showed something in his abdomen that didn't belong there. The next day, they would operate on him to find out what it was. We took him home that night and he seemed better than he had been all week. When we went to the vet the next morning, we were feeling scared and optimistic. Scared because we somehow feared the worst and an operation is never without risk and optimistic because we couldn't believe that he was very ill. Untill a week before May 21 st, he had been the happy strong and playfull dog he always was. Before the operation we were all too emotional to stay with him. We thought that leaving him would be best, so he wouldn't see us crying and get upset. Also, I thought that if we would stay, it would be like accepting the fact that he might not wake up. And so we left and waited. During the operation the vet came to us and told us that Mees had a rare tumor and that it was so malignant and big that the best thing to do, was put him to sleep right away. Mees died that day, just twenty minutes after we told him that everything was going to be okay and that we would be back soon. I still remember the last look in his eyes and that he wanted to go with us when we left to go the waiting room.

After it happened I also wondered if we had made the right decision. Had the vet been sure that it was malignant, what if it hadn't been, why hadn't we stayed with him until he fell asleep for the operation? I try not to think about those questions too much though, because it would make it even more unbearable.

We've lost our dearly beloved Mees, too soon and too quickly. I've been feeling the need to talk about what happened with people who understand what I am going through, and that's how I found your letter. You've lost your dear Rosie and I wish you all the strength in coping with her loss.

Stephanie

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