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Date Posted: 05:02:37 06/25/03 Wed
Author: Grace
Subject: My Little Girl Mabel

Early Sunday morning, 6/22/03, I had to have my sweet little Mabel put down. Mabel was a 10 year old boots cat. She had heart disease that was diagnosed about a year ago. I got her when she was just a couple of months old. She had been abused by her prior owner and she was very traumatized. I worked with her by giving her as much love as I could and eventually she became a loving, cuddly cat to me. In going through that metamorphises with her a great bond and a trust developed between us that was very strong. But because of the abuse the poor little thing suffered as a kitten she was never able to trust other people. And, therefore, she was snippy with other people - which they didn't find endearing.

Because of her heart disease her lungs would fill up with fluids on occasion. I would have to give her a diuretic for her to clear up. Well a few months ago she had a very bad attack and the vet thought she might not make it, but the vet put her in an oxygen chamber for 4 hours and gave her diuretics. I eventually got to take her home, but it took her a couple of days to get back to being herself. Then in the early morning hours of this past Sunday she filled up with fluids again. I gave her the normal course of home treatment, but she only got worse. She was very bad off. I asked God to take care of the situation however he felt best. She continued to get worse so I took her to the emergency vet. I had to make the decision to have her put down. At the time I had no question that I was doing the right thing for her, but now that it is 3 days later I wonder if I should have had the vet try to save her?? I try to tell myself that what I knew that night was the right thing - I knew she wasn't going to recover from this bout. There was no question in my mind. But I can't help but to feel so guilty for my decision and wonder if I should have had the vet at least try to save her. I have asked her little spirit over and over again to forgive me and that I am so sorry.

I miss her so much. I miss her greeting me at the door when I come home. How she would 'talk' to me and insist on giving me a kiss when I opened the door. I miss having her cuddle with me first thing in the morning, and our daily routine of me getting out of bed and her going right to her food dish waiting for me to put out her breakfast. Everytime I look at her food bowl I can't control the tears. I'll miss seeing her curled up on my comforter all warm and cozy. And I'll miss having someone around that would always give me a cuddle when I was feeling bad.

Mabel, please forgive me. I miss you so much!!! The house is so quiet and empty without you here. I wish I could just scoop you up in my arms and hold you and make everything better. I miss you - my sweet, little baby Mabel.

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