| Subject: Dig |
Author:
KC
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Date Posted: 13:12:47 08/26/05 Fri
Author Host/IP: c-67-184-31-155.hsd1.il.comcast.net/67.184.31.155
Amen!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning...uphill both ways
...through year 'round blizzards ...carrying their younger siblings on
their backs...to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a
Straight-A average despite their full-time, after-school job at the local
textile mill...where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep
their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids ...about how
hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But...
Now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around
and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to
my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids
today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet ...we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter....with a
pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3s or
Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the damn record store
and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off
the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and f@#* it all up!
You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had
to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7- 11!
Those were your options! We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If
you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And
we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had
no idea who it was! It could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent,
your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take
your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Play station
videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With
games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass!
Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there
were
no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could
never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! ...
Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as
stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in
front of you and you couldn't see you were just screwed! Sure, we had
cable television, but back then that was only like 10 channels and there
was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came
to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to
change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get
cartoons on Saturday Morning...D'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to
wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards! We didn't have microwaves, if
we wanted to heat something up...we had to use the stove ...imagine that!
If we wanted popcorn...we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop and shake it
over the stove like an idiot forever.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled, you guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1980!
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