| Subject: Hi Giggalo Lover (I will not refer to you as 'dumb,' because one of our Right Living beliefs is that women in abuse are not stupid... we are abused, and there is a big difference). Okay my friend, here it is: Your husband likes to have girlfriends. Real ones, cyber ones, emotional ones & perhaps physical ones. BUT... it is not him with the problem. He has NO problem having girlfriends. You however, rightfully so, do have a problem with girlfriends! So realize, the problem rests with you. You cannot change him. His history shows his truth. You don't have to like, it, but if you want to heal, you must accept it. So, now that you realize that you are the one with the problem, it is time to learn some boundaries to heal. I recommend class #6, "This is Where Your Life Ends". Hope this helps |
Author:
Dr. Tracy Kemble
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Date Posted: 20:43:32 04/03/07 Tue
In reply to:
Lorrie
's message, "Dummy Married a Gigalo" on 07:32:04 03/14/07 Wed
>I should TRY to make this short, huh?
>
>My husband of 8 years now has been a real challenge.
>After a short, whirlwind courtship, we married at his
>insistance. Within a year, my bank account was dry
>and I was in debt. He talked me into filing
>bankruptcy to take creditors off my back. He filed
>for divorce so that "creditors wouldn't try to collect
>from [him]". But, we stayed together as though
>married and, in fact, still refers to me as his wife.
>
>Then I caught him having cybersex and writing love
>notes online. He moved out; we talked; he moved back
>in (on HIS terms -- we forgive, forget and never
>mention it again). He was a good boy for about a
>year, then I found him signing up for Cupid.com and
>Match.com among others. He found a girl close by and
>was inviting to take her golfing. I told him I knew
>about and he "offered" to leave again at which time I
>agreed. I guess that left him dumb-founded and
>started to beg his way back in. I told him that one
>more time was the end. No third tries. At that time,
>I found out in speaking to his "ex-wife" that they had
>never finished divorcing, so our marriage was never
>legal. (This is 2 years later, mind you).
>
>Well, it's been about five years and he's been a model
>husband (or whatever). Until last November, he found
>his high school sweetheart at Classmates.com. At
>first, I didn't mind them writing and talking because
>everything was very general. But, their sign-offs
>went from "your friend" to "Love always", "Your first
>lover forever" and borderline love notes. So, I
>recently wigged out when I found he called her the 1st
>of Feb. She wrote him a quicky "Have a Great Day" ON
>VALENTINE'S DAY with "Love, Toni". I'm sick of the
>"Love" stuff. Well, it's been 6 weeks since they've
>had communication, but there's always work addresses
>and business phones.
>
>The house was in MY name because I got us into it with
>my good credit line, which is now gone, and $14,000
>(also gone). He took a 2nd to lower our payments
>which put his name on it. He, of course, socked the
>whole thing in HIS bank account. He's also taken
>another loan on the house, and socked that into HIS
>bank account. Oh, yes....he paid off my car the first
>time and gave me $1,000 the second time. The rest of
>the $40,000 became his. He has made some home
>improves at about $10,000, bought a car for himself
>and a mortorcycle and has paid them off.
>
>I'm confused as to my feelings. I've lost certain
>emotions, but still feel upset when I feel he's
>flirting. Oh, did I mention he's checking out nudes
>and porn online daily? I really don't know why I'm
>hanging in there...except I'm over 50 and can't find a
>decent job (although I have skills up the wazoo).
>Sometimes, I feel I'm just stuck. I have a daughter
>who's graduating high school this year and maybe after
>she's graduated I'll feel more in control of my life.
>I have a relatively low paying job, but I'm beginning
>to think, loneliness is starting to sound good.
>
>Was this too long? Sorry.
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