| Subject: Hi Confused - so you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. As for leaving, don't put the cart before the horse, which means, prior to think about leaving, just focus on healing. When you heal, you wil know the right choices for your life and know how to take them and when to take them. This means, get into counseling. This means join our program. This means get help and support beyond what you are doing now. Then you will get the strength and the 'legs' to take the right step. Hope this helps. |
Author:
Dr. Tracy Kemble
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 08:00:36 07/02/07 Mon
In reply to:
Confused
's message, "Never a good time to leave" on 11:18:21 06/05/07 Tue
>I have been married for 18 years. My husband is very
>confusing to me. I have read a lot of sites regarding
>emotional abuse and he fits ALL the signs. He is very
>controlling. He has to know where I am at all times.
>If I leave my desk at work and he calls, he gets mad
>because he thinks I am in an office having an affair
>(not his words). He calls me at least every 30
>minutes. Then he gets mad because i never call him.
>I never go shopping with out him. If he is at work
>and I have to go i have to take 1 of our 3 children
>with me. I have never done anything that would make
>him feel as though I am having an affair. He also
>checks my work email. He has the opportunity to go
>somewhere and he will not go because he says I can not
>be trusted and he would not have a good time. BUT on
>the other hand when I am with him he wants me to wear
>slutty stuff, not wear a bra, flirt and MUCH more!
>That is what confuses me! I do not want to dress like
>that or flirt. He says I am doing it for him and as
>long as he is there it is OK. Same goes for a 3-some.
>I am VERY much against that and he keeps pushing for
>it. He says those things show him that i love him and
>then he would not think that I am having an affair.
>Everytime I am around him I get nervous and shaky
>specially when he is trying to get me to do something
>I do not want to do. And he wonders why I never set
>up a weekend for us to go out with out kids. - He
>yells at me in front of the kids, he yells at the
>kids. Nothing ever pleases him. Everything has to be
>his way or his idea. He tells me what to wear, who to
>talk to and what to do when I get home. I am at my
>wits end. But I always seem to say that right now is
>not a good time to leave, such-n-such is in a week -
>after that. Then something else comes up. We have a
>vacation planned with another family and now I am
>saying after that. He always asks me if I am going to
>leave him. I can never answer that with a yes. He
>senses that something is wrong with me but blames me
>that he is the way he is because i can't do anything
>right, he always has to tell me what to do or i do not
>'show' him that i love him. My kids can see what is
>going on and they get nervous when he comes home. I
>am scared to take the next step. I do have a good job
>and a family that would support me so I do not know
>what is holding me back. My kids are even telling me
>to. I guess he has been making my decisions for me
>for so long that I can not make this one.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
