| Subject: This is what makes WIN stand out above all! |
Author:
Globette
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Date Posted: 09:57:39 10/15/07 Mon
In reply to:
Dr. Tracy Kemble
's message, "About Detachment" on 21:05:26 10/13/07 Sat
>Hi Globette, and all of you who love someone who is
>making you lose yourself. In class #5 "The Definition
>of Co-Dependent: ME!" step number 7 in healing is
>called "Detachment". Here is an excerpt from my
>teaching. It is something I wrote to myself (A 'Note
>to Self') when I was suffering due to other people's
>choices. I hope my words bring some clarity to realize
>you are not alone and most important, there is help."
>
>(FROM THE CLASS #5 The Definition of Co-Dependent:ME!"
>
>Finally, Healing Step #7: Detach
>
>It is very difficult to love somebody whose choices
>are killing us. And though leaving them behind and
>moving forward is an option for some people, for
>others, it is not an option. What if we want to have
>those people in our life?
>
>The key to loving them in a safe way is called,
>“detachment”.
>
>Detachment does not mean detaching from the person
>whom we care about. Instead detachment is learning
>how to detach from the agony of their choices.
>
>Detachment is an act of love: Both self love, a
>servant of God love, and other love.
>
>How is it love?
>
>It is love because each of us is responsible for
>ourselves. And when we attach to other people, we
>detach from ourselves, keeping everyone in a stuck
>pattern.
>
>I am going to share with you all a writing from my
>journal that best explains the emotion of detachment.
>I wrote it(to myself) when I realized I needed to
>detach from some people I loved very much because
>their choices were killing me.
>
>Here it is:
>
>“Today I am realizing I need to make a change.
>I feel myself feeling crazy and wounded by other
>people, so Tracy, take out your Personal Life Rule
>book and remind yourself how to get back to good.
>(And here are guidelines I give myself to get back to
>good)
>
>I, Tracy, will not allow the behaviors of other people
>to torment my life. When I have a problem that
>controls me, rather than bother me, it means I am out
>of balance. Since this situation is controlling me, I
>need to stand in truth and realize I, (not them) are
>out of balance.
>
>I will choose to act and think today, rather than
>re-act to life. Meaning, I will not guilt, self hate,
>worry, use controlling gesture, care take, go
>depressed, fury, fear, get anxious or go shame, on
>account of them. Instead, I will use my words to
>express my needs, and my use my sound mind to discover
>my safe choices. I must do this because thinking, is
>a God given action. (Intelligence is free Tracy, so
>please use it...)
>
>As I know I must detach, I must remind myself that
>detachment does not mean that I am excluding this
>person who I care about from my life. But instead it
>means that I am stepping back from the agony of their
>choices. Choices that are killing me.
>
>I, Tracy Kemble, will allow people to be who they are.
>I will allow life to happen and not force or control
>it.
>Then I will make my plan for MY emotional safety.
>
>I will remember that I have the power to love without
>going crazy. And that I do not have to be so afraid
>of people. They are human like me.
>
>I will remember that I cannot work on my life and
>others at the same time. If I have any self love, I
>will do this for myself, God and them.
>
>I remind myself that when I choose to hold onto,
>control or create someone else’s life, it is only an
>excuse not to live my own. So I will choose my life
>as my project of choice.
>
>Remember Tracy, everyone possesses the power and the
>right to navigate their life, regardless of what you
>think or believe.
>
>Remember Tracy, you must accept it, but you do not
>have to allow it in your life.
>
>So therefore Tracy, do not abandon yourself anymore.
>Walk back in on your life, trust God that you can make
>choices for your wellbeing.
>
>Remember Tracy your life is a good place to be. Now
>go find your peace.
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