| Subject: Hi Angela. Here is the truth of the situation.: You are with a jealous person. Jealous people control through being 'ugly', that meaning at minimum crawling under your skin, to becoming abusive. You have the right in life to be with whoever you want to be with. If it is not with a jealous person, it is your Constitutional right to not be with that person, as we all have the right to live freely. So, how do you get him to leave? First try using your words, "This is not working for me. I did not sign up for a jealous relationship, so you need to leave. I know you do not want this, but I do not want to live like a prisoner anymore." Next, if you fear he is going to be violent, have a police escort him out. Prior to any of this, make a plan. Change the locks, the security code, or anyway that he can access your private life. As for your personal healing, I recommend taking class #16 "The Definition of a Gentleman" and also the class, "Manipulation No More". Hope this helps. |
Author:
Dr. Tracy
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Date Posted: 03:45:24 11/25/07 Sun
In reply to:
Angela
's message, "How do I get him to leave?" on 09:07:08 11/14/07 Wed
>Hi Dr. Tracy,
>
>I have been very unhappy in a relationship for about
>two years now. My boyfriend is incredibly jealous,
>possessive and needy. He is incredibly suspicious and
>each day asks him what I had for lunch, where I went,
>whom I talked to, if the men I work with are good
>looking, etc...he claims not to be controlling, but he
>is. I have tried everything to try and reassure him,
>but it seems like no matter where I work he is jealous
>of one of the men there. I have invited him to
>workplace gatherings, etc. to try and reassure him
>that I am NOT cheating on him, etc., etc., etc....I
>feel like every single day I have to defend myself
>when I have done absolutely nothing wrong!! He tries
>to give me a guilt trip when I want to go to the gym
>to work out, and asks if any of the personal trainers
>are "hitting on me"!! When I try to tell him that I'm
>unhappy and ask him to leave he uses emotional
>blackmail, and becomes very agitated, and whiny and
>asks me why I'm not "fighting for us, etc., etc." I
>know in my gut that I don't want to be with him
>anymore, and that it is not a good relationship. The
>problem is, how do I get him to leave? Unfortunately,
>he lives with me, and I'm afraid that things are going
>to get ugly because he won't want to go...he has also
>taken a lot of liberties, like getting into my email
>at home and work!! and knows my security codes at my
>house, etc....so, how do I safely get him to go? Do I
>need to call the police? I'm afraid that will just
>anger him more.
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