| Subject: Hi Mouse - You are dealing with 2 issues: #1 - abuse is a learned behavior & your girls have learned to abuse you via example from their father. #2: Boundaries. Your first step is your personal healing. What program are you working to undo the damage of the abuse? If you are not in one, get in one immediately. If you cannot find one in your area, join ours, as until you remove the messages abuse planted on your soul you will not be able to become strong enough to deal with this challenge (I recommend Right Living Class#2 - Welcome Home Soldier, for the scars of abuse or the book The Courage to Say No More or Real Life Questions and Answer About Abuse). #2 - Boundaries. You are the adult, they are the children. All children want and need boundaries in order to feel safe. Example - why are they drinking? They are minors. Therefore, (click here) |
Author:
Dr. Tracy
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Date Posted: 04:06:45 11/25/07 Sun
In reply to:
mouse
's message, "what did I do wrong" on 03:41:47 11/20/07 Tue
put up a boundary in that the next time they are drunk and disorderly, tell them you will check them into rehab, and when they do, you must follow through. That is an act of love... tough love. (For more on boundaries, see class #6 "This is Where Your Life Ends'.)
Most important - get some inner healing going within yourself. Mouse, you cannot give what you do not have and first healing must start with you. Hope this helps.
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