| Subject: Re: Dazed & Confused Wife |
Author:
Margot
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Date Posted: 15:15:51 06/01/06 Thu
In reply to:
Carrie
's message, "Dazed & Confused Wife" on 07:18:29 04/29/06 Sat
>My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Over
>the last few years we have argued about his
>"relationships" with other women. I believe he is
>cheating on me emotionally with other women. I don't
>believe he has cheated physically...at least not yet.
>He is a member on a few different forums. At these
>forums, he is posting comments to these women that I
>believe are unfaithful to me. He tells these women
>how pretty they are, how sexy they are, etc. He also
>flirts a lot with these women. He has gotten most of
>their instant messenger names and now chats with them
>that way almost every day. There have been a few
>times I'm sitting next to him at the computer talking
>with him and when they instant message him, he asks me
>suddenly to go get him something, so I'm out of the
>room and he can read the messages. I feel he is
>hiding things. I have tried to talk to him about
>this, but he doesn't feel he is doing anything wrong.
>In when I told him how it hurts my feelings and makes
>me feel there is more going on. He told me it is my
>own insecurity. He said that maybe I should start
>digging into my past to figure out why I am so
>insecure and maybe when I figure that out I will be
>secure enough in myself to not let this bother me. Is
>he right? Am I just being insecure? Or do I have a
>legit reason to be upset? I am so confused right now.
> If he loves me like he says he does, wouldn't he be
>willing to quit doing what he is doing - knowing that
>it's breaking my heart? My mind is very foggy and I'm
>very confused right now, so I hope this is coming out
>in a way you are able to understand what is happening.
>Thank you in advance for listening.
I read your message because I was one this site because I believe I am being verbally and emotionally abused by my husband. I am replying because I saw a similarity that struck me: the fact that your husband says that things he is doing is nothing but your own insecurities. Everything I try to talk to my husband about results in that same comment--even when he is doing things that hurt me, as your husband is too. I think it is very wrong what your husband is doing (of course, it's so easy to say that from the outside), and mine may be doing the same thing. I have found VERY suspicious email advertisements and websites that he has gone to over the last six months. It is making me sick because I don't know what his intentions are, and I'm afraid to ask because he will acuse me of snooping or not trusting him. Please respond to my reply. Maybe we can put our heads together and help each other out. Lord knows I need more than just my own head because I feel as though I have lost it.
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