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Subject: Not Happy


Author:
Melissa
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Date Posted: 20:13:02 07/03/08 Thu

Hello all. I am 27 years old and have been dating my on again/ off again boyfriend for almost 7 years. I am a college educated successful professional who has a wonderful family and amazing friends. I dont even understand why I allow myself to ever be upset in a relationship, but then think about how much I love him.

The problem is, he was my first love. He can be so perfect at times and makes me laugh so hard, whenever things are good. Yet, there are those times where the slightest thing can set him off.

He drinks and becomes manipulative. However, he is not possessive of me. He plays that very cold and nonchalant role quite often when I'm doing things with friends or family, yet will brag to me when he goes out with his buddies. Whenever we're together, he'll tease me about how pretty other girls are. He constantly I feel is testing me. Testing what he can get away with.

This has been the emotional roller coaster I have been going through. I just want some support here, as it is not clear what is wrong with him. What I do know is that he treats his mother with respect and is not mean to her while sober, yet when he drinks can become extremely sarcastic and hurtful to especially her or I.

I know she drank excessively while he was growing up and his father was very rough on the boys in the household.....

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Replies:
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Hi Melissa - first it sounds like there might be an alcohol issue going on here. That requires treatement seperate from WIN. As to why you tolerate the intolerable, well it is because right now you do not feel that bad out weighs the good. Once the weight switches and you know that the bad is out weighing the good, then you will create a change. So ask yourself why you stay? Your answers to the "good' are found there. My encouragement from there would be to make sure the reason you now stay are truely based on the 'good' that is keeping you there. Hope that helps.Dr. Tracy Kemble04:43:14 07/07/08 Mon


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