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Subject: THANK YOU and yes all of that makes perfect sense! I want to shelter them from the person i had in my life and I pray everyday that I won't be the kind of mom that she was and is. It scares me to become her and I intend to never be her. She can be a good Grandmother but it always gets twisted around and becomes about her and how tough she has it. The poor me syndrome comes out. Nothing can be positive and if it starts out well it always ends sour... I think I'm just exhausted by how hard of work it is and it really shouldn't be. I asked my self today if I am happy not having her in my life and truth be told, I am. My stress level is lower and I am happier so i guess I'll continue with my limited relationship and continue shielding my kids. I'm sorry i sound like such a terrible person but my life is better without the drama and tears... Thank you for everything! Author: 03 alum [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 09:22:49 07/10/08 Thu In reply to: Dr. Tracy Kemble 's message, "Hi - the thing to realize is that there is no "right or wrong" answer here. There is only a 'what is right for your life', so what you need you to do... what I give you 'permisson' to do, is to raise your children as you see best, trusting in your skills as a mother. 2 sides of the coin to think about in making this decision: Your fear is 'wanting to shelter your kids from the mother you had'. My question would be "Is she the same type of grandparent as she was a parent?" Do the children need sheltering, or is it you that needs shletering. Abusers do not abuse every person they meet. The other side to consider is that if in fact your mother is bi-polar (please note, I am not saying she is nor am I doing a virtual diagnosis, as I do not have enough information to confirm or deny it), you are dealing with someone who is 'ill' and many times and one tool of prevention in working with bi-polar personalities is to remind yourself that that many times it is their CLICK HERE" on 02:06:19 07/10/08 Thu [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]