VoyForums
1 CLICK GIVES FREE FOOD!
www.TheHungerSite.com
Protect Habitat with a Click!
www.TheRainforestSite.com
Non-profit ad served by VoyForums...

VoyUser Login optional ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1[2]345678910 ]
Subject: Re: What's Up With My Daughter


Author:
Bill W.
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 11:02:05 01/23/07 Tue
In reply to: Jim 's message, "What's Up With My Daughter" on 10:25:27 01/21/07 Sun

She can't do that, this is the United States of America, the western civilization, how dare she..

Now if you were from one of the Scandanavian (sp) countries or tribal Africa, would you be worried about this? I don't think so..but we live in prudish America, what can I say..

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
[> [> Subject: Re: What's Up With My Daughter


Author:
Jim to Rodger and everyone
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 14:20:00 01/23/07 Tue

Rodger asked why post here. Good question. This wasn't the first place I looked for advice. I started by posting in a parenting forum. First people accused me of being a troll. Then people were rude and critical of my daughter, of me, of my wife. Their ugly response made me start to ask myself why we even had these hang ups. This forum is definitely out there. I thought I might do better to try to get answers from both sides of the argument. Really - the responses I'm getting here are a ton more helpful.

Was it Joe who asked if I think family nudity is wrong? After getting such hateful posts from people who say its wrong - I don't know anymore. I want to say its not wrong. But what if it leads to something bad? It seems like it could?

I think I want to talk to my daughter alone first. If that goes well, I want to have a family dinner and see if I can bring up the subject in a no judgement way. With my daughter you guys gave me a good idea. I ask her why the change in behavior. I hear her answer and all I have to say is - oh, okay. Then I get to walk away and regroup. Now that I have a good plan - I am anxious to try. I'll try to post back and let you know how it goes. Thank you!

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> Subject: Re: What's Up With My Daughter


Author:
Robbie
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 15:17:28 01/23/07 Tue

Jim,
yes having a talk is a good idea. i don't think this kind of thing is all that weird among younger kids and pre-pubescent kids but usually in puberty they develop some modesty. I know my kids didn't mind casual nudity for quite a while (13 year old boy occasionally seen nude by parents and his sister...no obvious flaunting but he just didn't seem to mind). My daugher started being more discreet at around 11 yo.

just out of curiousity, is your daugheter in the midst of puberty? has she had her period yet? does she have breast development and pubic hair? If answer is no, maybe the feelings of modesty haven't kicked in yet either.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> Subject: Re: What's Up With My Daughter


Author:
Art
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 16:46:32 01/23/07 Tue

Good luck Jim,
I think you have a start now. You're right to be a little wary of it. As you've been made aware, many people would think that casual family nudity is perverted. My wife would have. She passed that attitude on to my children, who now that they are adults have mostly overcome it.
I'd think you'd be wise to restrict nudity at least initially to more or less acceptable situations such as coming out of the shower nude and crossing the hall, or leaving doors to bedrooms or bathrooms open. I'd discourage walking around the house nude or watching TV nude in the family room. If the kids should talk about open family nudity in school you'd probably get a visit from some social protection agency, especially if you are nude (men are always assumed to be perverts). And as I said before, no touching.
But your initial step is wise. Find out why your daughter wants to do it, and then if acceptable bring it up to the rest of the family.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: What's Up With My Daughter


Author:
joe
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 17:54:16 01/23/07 Tue

art is probably right in that busybody teachers will make a mountain out of a molehill when told about nude activities as most of them are nude prudes. i don't think there is any law in any state that makes nudity within one's home illegal, as long as it is non sexual nudity when involving persons under 18. my kids learned at early ages to keep their mouths shut at school, as when they first told their teachers about their skinny dipping, the teachers about had cows. (some of them were cows), they told my kids how disgusting, how wrong it was, etc. my brother-in-law lawyer wrote each of them a letter indicating i wished them to teach the academics they were hired to teach, and stay out of my families moral and personal issues. that pretty well did it.
these days you will meet with much resistance from the nude prude majority on any type of nudity. i am really surprised that nude prudes can take baths and showers at home in a naked state. but, maybe they aren't nude--they may use swim suits there too.......
joe

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> Subject: I did it


Author:
Jim
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 14:30:45 01/24/07 Wed

You people are funny. To answer Robbie - puberty no for my boy but yes for my daughter. I think she is a beautiful young lady - but you know how parents are. She is attractive and endowed like her mother. I don't know where she gets all her smarts from. If she didn't have my very light brown hair, I would wonder if she was even mine.

Last night I went upstairs. My daughter's bedroom door was half open. She was sitting at her mirror brushing her hair. She was wearing her pink flanel pajama bottoms and nothing up top. My wife was downstairs watching Big Day, so I knew she would not be moving for the next 15 minutes.

I got behind the closed part of the door and knocked. She told me to come in. I could tell she was all of sudden a little nervous about me standing in her room with her breasts just out there like that. It's like she wanted to cover up with her hands, but then she stopped. It made me a little sad. We gave her this cute flanel pajama set with a three button, long-sleve top. She used to sleep in it and she was so cute. Now I think she is only sleeping in the bottoms or less. It's like where's my little girl.

I said that I noticed she doesn't cover up as much as she used to. I told her mom says theres nothing wrong with it. Then I told her I was just curious why the change. She thought and scruched up her face and shrugged. Her voice was so low I had to get closer to her to hear. That made me even more uncomfortable.

She said she was over at xxx house - a school friend who lives walking distance from us. They built an enclosed deck off the back of their house with a jacuzzi. The parents weren't home and my daughter, the friend, and the friend's older sister all ended up in the jacuzzi naked. She gave me all the details and it sounded very innocent.

Then the parents came home. The friends act very casual around their parents and no one gets dressed. The older one got out of the jacuzzi in full view of her dad and mom to go in the house and get a telephone message. The younger one invited her parents into the jacuzzi. They said no - thank God. My daughter starts talking to them about how they are so comfortable around their parents. They said it started with the jacuzzi. They caught their parents in there naked enough that they tried it naked. Everyone liked it better that way. Once that door opened, there didn't seem much point in covering up around the house. They said they really liked it better that way and that everyone in the house was nicer when the clothes were off. So she wanted to try it at our house a little.

I said well that makes sense, I guess, and tried to run away - but she stopped me. She wants to know what I think. I said I guess there's not a problem with it. I said it didn't make sense that people would be nicer with their clothes off. Then she says, Dad - this is the closest thing we have had to a real conversation for maybe six months. I knew she was right as soon as she said it. That made me feel very guilty. I said we probably need to make some rules about when its okay and when its not. I said if it's okay with her I would talk to mom and we would bring it up a dinner one night. She agrees. I kiss her on the forehead good night.

Is my daughter just doing this to get my attention? It sure as hell worked! I wonder if I do a better job of talking to her if she will go back to wearing her clothes around the house and closing doors.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I did it


Author:
joe to jim
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 20:06:44 01/24/07 Wed

hi jim--you're wondering if you will do a better job of talking to her is she goes back to wearing her clothes and closing doors. i would say she is the same person with or without clothes. the situation with her friend's family and nudity apparently affected her to the point that she wanted to try it. maybe she liked it there and wanted to carry it over to her own house as it might have been relaxing or liberating to her. i would suggest not "knocking it" too hard or making "cut and dried" rules about when and when not nudity at home. common sense should rule, and unless she is inappropriately dressed when company is there, the less said, the more relaxed the situation would be. you have already told her it is ok with you. (as i interpret your previous post)
you do have an unusual situation, as most girls not brought up in a casual nude environment usually do not suddenly change to nudism. usually the boys in households are the ones who have little or no modesty.
i would definately tell your son that what goes for the daughter goes for him, if he wishes to be "relaxed" in his dress at home, so if he decides to try it, he won't be stressed about it.
joe

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> Subject: You Talked With Her, So Now Let Her Be


Author:
Leah
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 03:08:25 01/29/07 Mon

Why would you pursue the matter any further? You were curious, so you asked her. She explained herself. You told
her it was not a problem. Why bring up the subject again?

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: You Talked With Her, So Now Let Her Be


Author:
joe to leah
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 06:13:00 01/29/07 Mon

why not bring it up again? he told her he might at a family discussion at dinner or like that, she didn't seem to have a problem with that idea, and it might be interesting to have the whole family involved in it. it might interest the family to see what ideas come forth when the brother and mother are able to join in.
joe

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: I did it


Author:
Mike
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 15:31:01 01/29/07 Mon

Jim, do you know if these neighboring parents were bold enough to look at your 14-year-old daughter while she was nude in their hot tub? You said it sounded innocent up to the point when the girls were alone. What about when the parents arrived?

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[> [> [> [> Subject: "YES, I was young, once! That's why you aren't leaving this house


Author:
Voyer87178
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 10:19:39 05/21/09 Thu

"...dressed like that!"

She'd be 15 by now, if not 16, but the question is still valid. Of everything *you* were sure you knew about everything, at that age, how's it working out, today? Someone in that house has to be the adult. Who has the most experience at "the game of life;" a 15-year-old or you? Mama doesn't seem willing to step up to the plate. That leaves you, to stand between a teenaged child and a world you've seen a bit more-of, so she doesn't have to learn things you already know by herself. It would be nice if the world *could* be clothing-optional (not to mention less-expensive). But even if the news is 'forbidden' in your home due to chick-flicks, cooking-shows, problem-shows, American-Idle reruns and other more-important TV, you know we live in a very imperfect society. So I hope you step up to the plate if you haven't already by now. Best regards.

>
>Is my daughter just doing this to get my attention?
>It sure as hell worked! I wonder if I do a better job
>of talking to her if she will go back to wearing her
>clothes around the house and closing doors.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]


VoyUser Login ] Not required to post.
Post a public reply to this message | Go post a new public message
* HTML allowed in marked fields.
Message subject (required):

Name (required):

  E-mail address (optional):

Type your message here:


Notice: Copies of your message may remain on this and other systems on internet. Please be respectful.

[ Contact Forum Admin ]


Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2017 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.