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Subject: How do I get him to be honest? Author: Triste [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 13:03:36 04/17/09 Fri Hi, I hope someone is out there at the moment? I'm just applied for the forum but I'm not sure I can wait, I hope you understand. Yesterday I found an email account belonging to my husband with 1/2 a dozen messages. These were trying to arrange a meeting with another man for some "action". Although this has been a huge shock and I am beyond crying into howling, I guess I would have to admit that I have been concerned in the past. Not through finding emails or porn, just female intuition. We've been married 12 years and there have been months at a time without sex and I normally have to make the first move - though he has never turned me down and is normally very keen once he gets going. I have always glossed over this as we have a great partnership, share the same outlooks, hobbies and are great friends, he is also very tactile. I am so confused as I don't think we can move on unless we can have an honest discussion about his sexuality. We have not had a conversation since I found out. I could not face him and he is spending time outside of the home. He is coming around tomorrow to talk. Has anyone any advise on how to keep calm and to get him to talk honestly with me? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: How do I get him to be honest? Author: PJ (At Peace) [Edit] Date Posted: 21:57:17 04/22/09 Wed Dear Friend I too have found emails my husband has been sending out. so since i could not stop crying I email him telling him i new he was gay that i have his emails, and that as soon as he admitted to himself then me we might be able to move forward. Yesterday we talked about the situation, coming to an agreement to be honest with each other no lies or hiding. I even gave him advice on how to start a relations ship with out just having sex. Since then he has not contacted his new internet friend, and has asked to seek counseling which he never would in the past even consider. I guess opening up and talking about what he is doing to me and our marriage, what the outcome might be. he is now not sure what he wants. Although he still loves me and i him. I feel it will all work out. I have found that my husband, hiding the fact he is gay or bisexual, made his internet actions more of a game to boast his moral, than really going though with the action. You might want to check out this website, Gay husbands/straight wives, i found it to be very useful in understanding what is happening and that we are not alone. Blessing PJ [ Post a Reply to This Message ]