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Subject: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Dixie
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Date Posted: 12:07:46 07/24/12 Tue

Hello: Starting the day after tomorrow, we will be sitting for a teen boy for two weeks while his parents are in Europe.

We will be staying with him at his family house. His older sister will also be there, but she will be in and out and as she is 19, and we have been retained to look after him and not her. The boy's name is Tyler and he will be busy at a summer day program at the Y most mornings, but it looks like he will be with us pretty much the rest of the time.

Our plan is to give him a good spanking the very first time he talks back, tests the limits, or misbehaves in the any way whatsoever, which I imagine will be quite soon after we arrive. The problem is neither of us have ever spanked a boy over the age of 11.

Help please! Are there any web sites that explain this? I have searched and this site is the best I have found. We only have 2 days, so any tips or advice will be MOST welcome. I know I shouldn't have waited so long to find out about this but unfortunately I did.

Dixie

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Ryan
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Date Posted: 07:27:11 07/25/12 Wed

Do his parents expect you to spank him? I think it would be weird to get spanked by someone besides my dad or mom. He's probably old enough to not get spanked.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Tohru
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Date Posted: 13:12:43 07/25/12 Wed

I agree. A 14 year old male is too old for a spanking.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Coach K
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Date Posted: 10:48:48 07/26/12 Thu

I know this is a controversial subject and there are even those who think there should be no spanking of any ages. My own belief is that spanking is beneficial to boys through the mid teen years, and should be used regularly as a "first resort" when disciplining them. I think boys should be spanked regularly through the age of 15 at least, then it should slowly be phased out until it stops when the boy either turns 18, or graduates from High School. I don't think it should be much different with girls, but I have worked primarily with boys so will leave it at that.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Mark Athlete to Coach K
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Date Posted: 07:19:35 07/27/12 Fri


Hi Coach K, sir...
My name is Mark, and I add Athlete after my name as there are a few more Mark's posting messages here.

I play high school sports of football, baseball and basketball.

I get spanked at home, my Mom used to spank me, but has left it now up to my dad to do. I'll say he does a good enough job for them both if they both still spanked me.

I get a paddle used on me, bare butt and usually I'm over my dad's lap or sometimes he has had me bend over and grad ankles, either way, my butt is still a perfect target to be spanked.

You meaned you have "primarily worked with boys? So, your a real coach? What do you coach for sports? Have you ever spanked an athlete boy before?

In 9th grade I got two paddlings from my basketball coach. One was given with my buddy Drew bend over with me, side-by-side bare butt with hands on a bench in locker room for horseplay after we both had been told we would be two of the five starters for our basketball team. We got excited, snapped towels and were doing headlocks to each other. Coach paddled us in front of the team, to show what happened to player who don't follow locker room rules. I will admit, Drew will too, that we both deserved that spanking. Coach sure left us with two sore, red butts!

Same coach paddled me bare butt for constantly disrespecting a ref during a basketball game. He as calling fouls on me all over the place, I protested and thought my coach would help get the ref it was wrong. Another player was slapping/making body contact to me bigtime and wasn't being called for fouls. Finally I told the ref off, and later got my bare butt paddled in front of the team. I agree I deserved what I got.

If your a real coach, would you agree what I got both times was right and justifyable?

How do you descipline players, spank, etc.?

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Suzie
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Date Posted: 14:21:54 08/10/12 Fri

I certainly agree with you Coach K, and I'm sure most here would too - and actually even most of the boys here would as well. I'm sure also that most if not all the boys who have benefited from your discipline will, when they look back on these years, agree too.

Hugs,
Suzie

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Gary Rhodes
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Date Posted: 12:31:57 10/25/12 Thu

My 15 year old nephew recently came to live with me, he has been in trouble with the law in the past (several times) and never really received any boundaries/discipline growing up to this point. He is a good kid but does have some attitude, responsibility and school issues, more spoiled then anything and allowed to do as he pleased with no correction in the past. Is it to late to start including spanking as discipline for bad behavior? and so, please offer some advise as to how I should spank him? how often and for what reasons? He like most teenagers of 15 thinks he is going on 25, knows everything and pushes the limits daily. I'm just concerned for him that we have a short 4 year window here for him to finally learn to respect authority and take on some responsibility and grow up to be a respectful/responsible young man.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Gary's 15 year old nephew


Author:
Randy
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Date Posted: 07:24:08 10/26/12 Fri

Intrinsic motivation (you do something because you want to do it and understand it is important to be done) is much stronger than extrinsic motivation (doing something for the reward or out of fear of punishment). If you only avoid something because you fear punishment, without understanding the necessity, it's too tempting to try to get away with it unseen. It's bad that he got in conflict with the law already but that cannot be changed now, however no matter how bad things in the past were, we can still learn from them.

I would say the best thing you could do would be to talk to him in a quiet, serious but non-threatening atmosphere. Go through the things that had gone wrong in the past and get him to admit that wasn't right. Explain how it would be much better for him to change certain things and that you want to help him changing for the better. Don't just say "These are your boundaries, whenever you step over the line you will be punished in that way", he is old enough that you could successfully appeal to his understanding. Make clear to him that you want to help him and it would be much better for him if he cooperated with you.

Then you can work out the rules and limitations together. Don't just present him with a rigid list, discuss each point with him and if he is absolutely unhappy with anything you could show some flexibility but of course nothing that would get him back into any of the bad old habits that you want to stop. Make clear what your priorities are, what things you consider most important.

Only after that the next step would be what rewards could await him if he behaves better than expected (give him a chance to surprise you in a positive way, which will be a further incentive) or what punishments he would have to expect if he does step over the line.

If you decide to include spanking as a last resort kind of punishment, make it part of an agreement between you and your nephew. Explain to him that if he is serious about wanting to behave better he should also be ready to accept the negative consequences if he doesn't. Such a general agreement is essential because in case of a disagreement, the struggle wouldn't be pleasant for either - a 15 year old boy can be quite strong when defending himself. As for the 'how' and 'how much' I'm sure there are others with more experience who could give you advice.

Never make empty threats or promises - but you should know that already. If he has never been spanked it may even be that he will consciously step over the line out of curiosity, so maybe his first spanking could be of the sort that he does not want to experience so soon again. But mostly you should concentrate on not even letting it come to that, by issuing clear warnings. He is old enough to understand what happens if he does choose to ignore your warnings. And don't forget the 'good side', so it's clear to him that whatever effort it takes to get rid of his bad habits is worth it in the end.

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Simon Says
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Date Posted: 09:58:11 07/25/12 Wed

Dixie:
My advice: To keep things simple, spank Tyler exactly the way you would spank the 11 year old and don't worry about the fact he is a little older. You will find it doesn't make that much difference. You will probably need to give him a longer spanking, but the length of his spanking will be all you need to vary, not the technique. Adjust the length as you see fit based on Tyler's reaction and the level of his crying etc. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

PS: Just wondering who the "we" is.

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
johnny
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Date Posted: 11:35:38 07/25/12 Wed

I was spanked at 11, and I was spanked after 11, Dixie, and it was the same: You just unzip his pants and take them right down, give a lecture, then you can take him across your lap, and/or slap his bottom while he is standing. Then more reprimand. Repeat as needed. Make sure it is enough of a spanking (red glow) to be effective. Since his sister is present and 19, she would certainly assist you with it all. Let us know what happens, and how it works.

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Dixie
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Date Posted: 13:27:03 07/25/12 Wed

Thanks for the responses. I am a relieved it sounds the same. I was beginning to wonder if I should look for a paddle or something, but since I have left this until the last minute, I don't even know where I would have looked or what to look for, as I have always used only my hand. You have reassured me that I will be able to turn Tyler's bottom bright red with my hand, even if it might take a little longer.

The "we" is me and my husband. We will both be staying at the family house, although Tom might spend one or two nights at our apartment on days when he works late, and since he does work, he will not be there during the days except on weekends, so most of the time it will just be me.

And to Ryan: Yes, we have spanking permission (or else we would not have accepted the job).

Tomorrow is the day we start. I imagine I will be putting your advice to good use very soon. Thank you.

Dixie

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[> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
johnny
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Date Posted: 11:24:19 07/26/12 Thu

You're welcome, Dixie. Keep us posted. It sounds like Tyler will be getting quite a number of your lessons! :)

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Robert to Dixie
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Date Posted: 16:09:10 07/25/12 Wed

First off, do you have his parents permission to spank him? Alot is going to depend on how he is punished by his own parents. You have not really provided enough information for answer to be given. Is he currently spanked?

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[> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Dixie to Robert
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Date Posted: 08:59:12 07/26/12 Thu

Sorry, I guess I was a little sloppy in my first post and didn't give much information. I just noticed I even made the message subject "Hepl" not "Help" !

Yes, Tyler gets spanked by his parents when he misbehaves, and yes we have been given spanking authority (We would never have accepted the sitting job without it). Apparently he is not spanked all that often but he does get spanked about once a month or so, but if he chooses to test the limits of behavior with us he will find he is spanked more often than that for the two weeks we are there.

We planned this several months ago but I put off really thinking about it until a few days ago. Actually today is the day we start, I will go over there about 4:00 Pm as they are leaving about 5:00 to catch a late flight. Any more advice is still appreciated.

Dixie

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Mike
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Date Posted: 18:45:44 07/25/12 Wed

You might want to make sure his parents are OK with this first

My dad spanks me exactly the way he spanked me when i was 11. Though if were to get spanked by someone else other then my dad i think i rather bend over the couch or bed rather be placed over the lap or knee

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Belinda
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Date Posted: 14:50:01 07/26/12 Thu

Dixie wrote:
"Our plan is to give him a good spanking the very first time he talks back, tests the limits, or misbehaves in the any way whatsoever, which I imagine will be quite soon after we arrive"

I think your psychology here is good. Once he knows you "mean business" I would bet you will have very little trouble for the balance of your visit. He probably will "test the limits" with you early on but it sounds like you are ready for that! Let us know how it goes.

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Konrad
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Date Posted: 15:49:03 07/26/12 Thu

tips:
1) Give the boy LONG corner time BEFORE you spank him. This is effective with older kids who will a)get bored while at the same time b)thinking and worrying more and more about the spanking to come. Have him undress to his briefs or underwear for the corner time. Then all you will need to do when it is time for the spanking is to pull them off
2) Spank him for at least 12 minutes, 15 might be better. Keep spanking hard until you have him crying at the level you want, then lighten up the spanking just enough to maintain that level. Hand spanking is fine - I have timed it for that as that is how it sounds you will do it.
3) Try spanking him over your knee, or if you are not comfortable have him lie face down on a bed.
4)Start slowly but build up the speed of your spanking. When he starts to cry build it up again
5) Stop spanking him once in a while, but resume in about 15 seconds.

Might not be news to you, but I hope this helps. Sounds like you might already be there, or will be soon. Good luck.

Konrad

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Randy
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Date Posted: 10:56:59 07/29/12 Sun

Does a boy of that age really need "sitting"? When I was 14 I spent a few days at home without parents with no problem. I was given money and instructions for shopping and making my meals. It was a great exercise in self-organizations (even though the parents upon return were a bit concerned about disorder in the kitchen ...)

Of course not everyone is the same. But rather than constant supervision (which will be stressy to both you and the boy) explain to him (together with his parents) what he will have to do to organize himself. At that time you can also arrange what is excepted at which time, and what is unacceptable behaviour that will result in punishment. To a 14 year old boy it's always besser to tell him "This is your chance to practice what it's like to live with all the responsibilities of an adult" rather than "You're the child who needs a babysitter".
At the same time (also together with the parents) clear up how they are punishing him, if the need arises, and get him to agree to take his lesson from you as he would from his parents. Be consistent with what his parents would do.

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[> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Dixie to ALL
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Date Posted: 13:40:24 07/30/12 Mon

Just a quick update here.

We have been here with Tyler for 3 days now and things are going well. He is cooperative and obedient, and we have had no occasion to spank him thus far. I was really expecting a more difficult time, having heard so much about disobedient and rude teens and never, until now, caring for one.

Dixie

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[> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
Forum Reader
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Date Posted: 12:11:28 08/01/12 Wed

I'm glad it is going so well. My experience is that kids, and especially teens, are often better behaved with someone other than their parents. So I'm not surprised that he's done so well. I think a lot of the normal rebelliousness of adolescence gets directed towards parents. It could be that a kid might be more inclined to sneak something by someone that was not a parent. I hope that it continues to go well and that Tyler will not need any spanking at all.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Hepl! Need advice ASAP re: Spanking Teen Boy (14 almost 15)


Author:
johnny
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Date Posted: 09:41:34 08/10/12 Fri

hmm...no more updates...

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