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Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Andrea
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Date Posted: 03:48:01 12/07/12 Fri
In reply to: Andrea 's message, "My son wants me to spank him" on 02:29:06 12/02/12 Sun


I talked to my son, we want to try it with the spanking.
Silvona has indeed already told 2 positions, I can use.
Which should I use?
Should I spank him with your hand or with a tool?
What should I do if my son is uncooperative during the spank behaves.
Should I stop then?

Sorry for all the questions, but for me this is all new.

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[> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Mark Athlete to Andrea
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Date Posted: 09:30:00 12/07/12 Fri


Ms. Andera,

I commented earlier...about my dad spanks me using a wooden paddle while I'm bent over his knee, and he sure does a good job in this position to give and leave me with a RED, SORE SPANKED BUTT!

This position would be the BEST and easiest for YOU and YOUR SON to use, have him bend over your knee/leg with his butt bare, so give at least one spanking in this position and I'm sure your son will agree that it will leave him with the good, spanked red butt he wants for punishment!

Do you have a paddle to use? If not, a wooden hairbrush would be equal for use and even a thick wooden kitchen spoon would work, too!

While spanking your son, if he suddenly becomes uncooperative DON'T STOP SPANKING, CONTINUE THE SPANKING! Your son needs to know that YOU ARE INCHARGE, and spanking with love to teach him right from wrong!

Hope my suggestions help with others suggestions help!

Let the spanking begin? It's what your son wants and has agreed to!

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[> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Silvona
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Date Posted: 23:46:40 12/07/12 Fri

>Sorry for all the questions, but for me this is all new.
That’s ok. Take your time. Discipline is an important responsibility.
All responsible and loving parents have to think carefully about disciplining their children in a way that is most beneficial.

>I talked to my son, we want to try it with the spanking.
Good. I hope it does as much benefit to him as it has been to me and to my children.

>Silvona has indeed already told 2 positions, I can use. Which should I use?
The locked diaper position is my preferred position, for several reasons, but not least because I can maintain eye contact with my children while spanking them. It also allows the best access to the child’s bottom. I usually raise the child’s bottom in the air with a pile of pillows in the corner of the bed, or with the arm of a couch. As I mentioned before I use a jock strap protecting the child’s groin, attached in a way that the straps are between the butt cheeks, not covering them. The key to this position is the way the legs and arms lock, completely restricting the movement of both. (see my first reply)

Having said all that, if you are not confident, the second position is simpler. If you know what you are doing, both positions are good for holding a struggling child – even a teen who is stronger that you are. However, the first is much harder to explain without a picture, and although the diaper position is common enough, the locked diaper position is not. I have never seen picture of it. If you understand how the legs and arms lock – fine. Otherwise, why don’t you try the second (over bed+one knee; legs locked and arm held in the small of the back).

Finally, you can always give your son the choice between the two positions.

>Should I spank him with your hand or with a tool?
Spank him with an implement. Unless you intend spanking continuously for 5 solid minutes, an implement is the only way to spank at teen.
Even with an implement, you are going to need a good number of swats.
I stopped hand spanking my kids when they were three or four.
And do not use a poor implement. Something like a fly swatter is too light. A rolling pin is too heavy. You need to get the weight right. I suggest that if you don’t own one you buy a large wooden bathbush with long handle and a smooth flat back. A large wooden hairbrush is also good.
Try to spank rapidly (more than two swats per second).
If you are using a suitable strong implement, you don’t need to use your full force. A good implement should give you control and precision in the spanking.
However don’t mess about with tapping your son’s bottom either. If your son doesn’t react visibly or audibly to show that the swat was painful, and the bottom doesn’t have a clear red mark from the implement, then it wasn’t hard enough.


Spank so the middle of the brush hits the peak of the bottom squarely ie |( not /( or \(
I hope the | for the brush and ( for the bottom cheek made sense
Never hit with the edge of the brush.
Do not hit too high - there should be plenty of flesh between your brush and the pelvic bone.
Never hit anywhere near the kidneys (ie very high)!
Never hit the tailbone or the spine.
You can spank lower down (the sit spot where the bottom meets the legs), and the upper thighs (both back of the thigh and inner thigh) are fine, but be aware that while the thighs are more sensitive, they also bruise more easily.
Do not spank behind the knee or the calves.
Don’t spank between the butt cheeks. (not really possible with a brush, but some parents do so with a cane or switch)
Don’t spank the genitals (I hope this one was obvious)



>What should I do if my son is uncooperative during the spank behaves.
>Should I stop then?
Should you stop the spanking in progress? – NO! Definitely Not!
Spank until you have given the last swat you feel he deserves. You should have a good idea how many swats before you start. Although you need to adjust this if it is clear that you are spanking too hard or too soft, you should not change because your son is struggling. That would just reward him struggling. I suggest you hold him in place from the beginning so that he cannot move out of position when the spanking becomes painful. If he does not find it difficult to stay in position, then you probably haven’t spanked nearly hard enough.

Should you stop spanking him for future offenses? – Discuss the matter with him, but then you need to decide what is best for him – whether he likes it or not. I would probably keep spanking him BUT I believe that cooperation and approval is in important part of effective discipline of older children and teens. I would be willing to spanking a teen without their cooperation or approval but the spanking will be less effective and on a practical level more difficult. If he changes his mind, and does not want to be spanked, but you feel that it is the best way to discipline him, then do your best to explain why you have decided to keep spanking him. It is important that he understands your love, your motivation and your reasoning (even if he doesn’t agree), if the spanking is to be beneficial for him.

Some parents (including my own) give additional swats or even a second spanking to uncooperative children. I am not opposed to this, but I would add my own caution. Don’t expect a level of self-control that is unreasonably high, and if you add extra swats for struggling or not cooperating, don't be unreasonably strict.

My own method for a lack of cooperation before a spanking is first to talk and talk and talk with them to convince them of their need of a spanking. Then, if that fails, I send the child into the corner. I asked every few minutes if they are ready cooperate fully with their spanking. They know that they have to stay there until they are ready and willing.

I have not had to spank a child without their cooperation for many years now, although I remember one incident in which my son spend two self-imposed hours in the corner before he was ready to take his spanking. I told my children that they take as long as they liked to prepare themselves to receive the spanking they deserved. But my children learned fairly early that it was best to take the spanking right away, rather than add corner time to the punishment.

Once one of my children is in position, I hold them, so there is no possibility of getting out of position. At this point their cooperation doesn’t matter.

I have heard of parents using restrains or tying their children up. I have never done this. Partly I have never had the need. Partly I would not feel comfortable doing this, although I haven’t quite worked out why. I don’t have a problem with spanking naughty children until they howl with pain, but I am squeamish about restraints or rope.

I hope this is helpful advice and that your son benefits from it. I hope he grows up to be a mature, self-controlled and godly adult, and that he enjoys a close and loving relationship with you.

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[> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
JP
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Date Posted: 05:29:26 12/08/12 Sat

My advice would be to use the hand to start out. Maybe 10 minutes or so. Then put him in the corner while you grab a hairbrush or small paddle. Put him back over your knee and really lay into him with your implement. If he fights the spanking then add extras. Make the spanking memorable.

Good luck to both of you!

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[> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Kenny to Andrea
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Date Posted: 05:39:59 12/14/12 Fri

Did you spank your son yet, if so would you tell us how it went with him.

I talked my Mom into spanking me for punishment but have not been spanked yet. She will be using a paddle. You can see my other posts for details.

Kenny

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[> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 14:49:29 12/14/12 Fri

In general I don't believe that a teenage boy should be spanked by Mom. If it is possible you should find a trusted male to handle this, an uncle, trusted friend, older sibling. However, I know that isn't always possible and your son did specifically ask you.

I believe in spanking bare, in fact I spank my sons fully undressed, but for the sake of modesty I would suggest you consider allowing your son to either wear very thin underwear, a speedo swimsuit, or at least a jock strap. In fact a jock strap is really the perfect solution.

As for positioning I think the mentioned position of laying with his legs up would be OK although it's very exposing. It does give the advantage of allowing you both to look at each other though. A better one would be to have him lay on his bed on his stomach with his hips propped up by 2 or 3 pillows. Again, for the sake of modesty, I wouldn't recommend Mom put a pubescent teenager over her lap..but it's certainly your choice. I do spank over the lap but that's between Dad and son.

I primarily spank with my hand but will add additional spanks with a wooden spatula if a more severe spanking is needed. I'm in good shape and have large hands so I can deliver quite a spanking even with just my hand! In your case a wooden ruler, a wooden spoon or spatula would all work well. As this is your first time giving a spanking I don't recommend the bath brush as they can be pretty heavy. And I wouldn't recommend a belt at this point either. If you continue to use spanking for discipline, and as you get more used to it and learn how your son's bottom responds, you can switch to these.

Just my opinions. Goo luck to you.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Peter
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Date Posted: 10:23:56 12/16/12 Sun

Hi Jeff, When did you last have to give one of your sons a spanking?

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 07:05:44 12/17/12 Mon

Hello Peter,

My older son turns 18 in January and my younger son will be 15 in March. The last spanking I gave was my younger son and that was in late October. My older son doesn't get them too often anymore, his last was over the summer.

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Peter
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Date Posted: 19:21:40 12/18/12 Tue

Hi Jeff, What usually happens when you have to give a spanking, are your sons usually punished in their rooms? I think I read in another post that you still spank over your lap?

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 14:40:23 12/20/12 Thu

They are spanked in our bedroom.

We always have a good long talk before the spanking. Sometimes my wife will be in on the conversation, sometimes not depending. AFter we talk the young man getting the spanking is sent to our bedroom to wait for a few minutes. If I intend to use the wooden spatula for a particular spanking I will get it while he is waiting. I do use a strap for my older son sometimes which is kept in our bedroom.

When I get to the room the time for talk is basically over. He removes his clothes while I get situated sitting on the bed. He then lays across my lap and we get him adjusted so we're both comfortable and situated.

I spank with my hand in sets. It really depends on which one is getting spanked and why they are being spanked as to how many sets. Age and reason also dictates how hard the spanks are. The spanks are about 3 to 4 seconds apart and one set lasts a minute half to two minutes. Generally I pause about a minute between. Spanking in sets like this gives both of a us a rest, lol, and gives me the chance to talk with them a little bit. If I am using the spatula then the last one or two sets is given with that. When my older son gets the strap he gets up off my lap and I put two pillows on the corner of the bed and he lays his hips across those and spreads his legs.

After a spanking I always, always stay with them for a few minutes. I talk with them, give them a big hug and let them know it's over and done and won't be talked about again. This is very important I think. Spending that time, letting them know they are loved and the punishment was necessary but it's over and all is well. Clean slate.

That's a big reason why I think spanking is an effective punishment. You explain why, you conduct the punishment, and then it's over and done with.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Peter
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Date Posted: 08:57:16 12/31/12 Mon

Hi Jeff, How does the talk usually go, is it understood before even the talk that a spanking is going to be administered or is that decided during the conversation by you? Do you tell them at some point during the talking "you are getting a spanking" or something like that?

Do both your boys start crying when the spanking starts?

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 13:11:09 12/31/12 Mon

It's pretty well understood before the talk that they are going to get spanked. The talk is never about yelling, it's about us having a conversation about why they are being punished, hoping they understand what they have done wrong, why punishment is in order. And yes, during the talk I will specifically state that they will be getting a spanking. That generally happens toward the end shortly before I send them up to our room to wait for me.

No, they don't start crying right away. My younger son actually is fairly quiet until he starts crying. My older son, however, is quite vocal lol. Lots of yelling and I'm sorries. Both of them are spanked until they are crying real tears though.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Reaction to be told


Author:
Peter
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Date Posted: 18:18:58 12/31/12 Mon

Hi Jeff, How are they usually told they are going to be spanked, what do you usually say to your boys?

What is their usual reaction to hearing this, some protests or pleading for a second chance or resigned acceptance because they know if dad says I'm getting a spanking then its going to happen?

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Intrigued Dad
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Date Posted: 05:24:10 12/27/12 Thu

Thanks for sharing, Jeff.

I'm glad to hear it can work that late. As I've posted, before my 11 y/o son gets hand spanked fully undressed and it works well at this age. Being fully bare seems to add to the submission part of discipline even if the sting isn't any more than he'd get from a pants-down session.

He's as cooperative as I could expect. I hope it stays that way as he gets older.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: My son wants me to spank him


Author:
Joe to Jeff
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Date Posted: 13:55:01 01/01/13 Tue

My dad felt and I do too that with a teenage boy, it is better that dad or a male give corporal punishment and especially if pants are coming down to shorts or bare.

If your older son is 17 and got a whipping last summer, was it still effective at his age? I remember from experience at 14, the paddle was effective with me but that was in 1960-1970 era but wonder how a boy at 17-18 reacts seeing a belt and told to lower pants for a whipping.

Do you do them ever together or if both earned a spanking, is it individually with you in the bedroom?

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