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Date Posted: 09:07:22 11/01/09 Sun
Author: inside
Subject: We need to know why parent does not want to move
In reply to: need input 's message, "Moving Mom" on 08:46:29 11/01/09 Sun

at 90 your mom probably should not be driving. My mom-also 90 and in good health just asked her physician if she should continue to drive. dr had her take a senior drivers assessment at local center and answer was resounding NO. lets all face it-reflexes and observation in a 90 year old are nowhere near what is required to drive safely. My mom also lives alone, but relies on me to help her with finances (bill payment) as well as driving and then carrying groceries. Will also add that older people can get sick and require hospitalization in a matter of days. If you are not close enough to observe she could well get pneumonia and laspe into a comatose state
(not actually a coma)-this would have happened to my mom except I insisted she see dr despite her saying she just needed to rest. Dr ordered to to er.
1) if you move you will find yourself driving back andf forth
2) brother will not step up
3)as soon as you move some event will occur where you have to then make arrangements for retirement facility.

I would try to enlist brothers help and convince mom that as you are moving she has two choices 1) move with you, or 2) go into retirement facility-there is no option 3. Take her with you to look at the area you are moving to-show her all the good spots-take her to a retirement home-show her the ammentities. Try to make them pleasant outings. make a list of pros for each -help her to think she has these two choices, both of which are good and that she gets to pick which one. But she does not get to pick staying in her own place. If she does not go along with either of the above tell her and your brother that she will be dropped off on your brother's doorstep.

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Replies:

  • Don't move your parent. She doesn't want to go. After 90 years, so many kids force parents to mess up their lives. The parents are powerless, must bow to the kids. Then the old parent is miserable. (NT) -- The parent goes downhill and dies depressed, 10:30:51 11/01/09 Sun
  • I agree 100% - and i've said it before. -- :-), 11:29:59 11/01/09 Sun
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