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Date Posted: 11:30:38 06/30/16 Thu
Author: .
Subject: What's most disturbing about this is that that HE is not reading the cues. more>>
In reply to: mom 's message, "How to reject someone" on 07:43:20 06/26/16 Sun

Maybe 'just friends' is not an option. DD has a learning curve about being direct and speaking up for herself - she's more concerned with hurting his feelings than HE is about trampling her (lack of) boundaries. Maybe practice with her what she can say and ways she can say it. There is empowerment in saying No and learning how to do it.

Girls are expected from early on to 'be nice' and not hurt people's feelings - but he is ignoring hers and barging in - she needs to learn how to set boundaries which will serve her well here AND in all aspects of her life and relationships (work, family, friends, siblings)

I was always the 'nice' girl and did the 'ditch and run' whenever I was faced with that difficult conversation or uncomfortable situations. It took me until my 50's to be able to stand up for myself, gently assert myself and to say no in a way that empowered me and felt comfortable.
Two books I recommend:
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to say No
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

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