[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12345678910 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 11:30:38 06/30/16 Thu
Author: .
Subject: What's most disturbing about this is that that HE is not reading the cues. more>>
In reply to: mom 's message, "How to reject someone" on 07:43:20 06/26/16 Sun

Maybe 'just friends' is not an option. DD has a learning curve about being direct and speaking up for herself - she's more concerned with hurting his feelings than HE is about trampling her (lack of) boundaries. Maybe practice with her what she can say and ways she can say it. There is empowerment in saying No and learning how to do it.

Girls are expected from early on to 'be nice' and not hurt people's feelings - but he is ignoring hers and barging in - she needs to learn how to set boundaries which will serve her well here AND in all aspects of her life and relationships (work, family, friends, siblings)

I was always the 'nice' girl and did the 'ditch and run' whenever I was faced with that difficult conversation or uncomfortable situations. It took me until my 50's to be able to stand up for myself, gently assert myself and to say no in a way that empowered me and felt comfortable.
Two books I recommend:
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to say No
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.