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Date Posted: 19:39:03 12/03/16 Sat
Author: OP
Subject: More
In reply to: OP 's message, "Thanks for the responses." on 10:01:57 12/02/16 Fri

Sorry- I read the thoughtful responses and appreciated them , but haven't had time to send a response.
Someone else had told me that I'd see signs of my Dad, and I think it has been bothering me that I haven't. After he died, there were complicated family issues to deal with, compounded by drama with a family member. The initial shock and grief of my Dad's death was taken over by constant, intense stress and anger. I feel like I didn't have a chance to catch my breathe and really mourn. Things on the other fronts have calmed down, and now I'm just left with the deep sadness. My Dad was such a huge part of our lives, and spent so much time at our home. EVERYTHING makes me think of him. I just burst into tears several times a day. I cry every night. It's tearing me apart to think that he won't be walking through the door at Christmas. Usually, I love decorating for Christmas, but this year it was just painful. Although I'm religious and know he's at peace, I'm really angry and sad that I can't have more time with him.
I know I need to "pull it together", because my kids have been really hurting too. They were incredibly close to him. I'm feeling guilty that I've neglected my kids because I've been trying to deal with everything else.
I know it will take time, and appreciate both of you sharing your experiences and advice. Thanks for the suggestions about doing "positive" things.

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