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Subject: three laughs for a healthy person


Author:
romenrom bellamar
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Date Posted: 08:09:40 04/26/07 Thu
Author Host/IP: NoHost/203.84.174.78

A stranger was seated next to a little girl ...

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

DO NOT TEASE OLD LADIES

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the
night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch
on a warm spring evening,when a young man comes creeping
up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.


Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert
died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't
felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
"Did he take you?

"Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot
him, the little bastard!





See Men

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get
a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the
doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as
clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor
asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc,
it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but
nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still
nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her
right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried
with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her
teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up
Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The
old man replied,

"Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't
get the jar open."

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
hahahahahah..very funny..! Thanks for posting..! (NT)Michael (Am A hunk)04:06:50 04/28/07 Sat


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