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Date Posted: 11:12:34 07/29/09 Wed
Author: Boy dancer mom
Subject: Boy costume dilemma. Advice welcome. More inside.

My younger teen son is an OC/WQ dancer. He is having a new shirt made for the O. Previously, shirts were chosen for him. This time he has input. I thought that would be a good thing. Silly me! We got several samples and I think there are 2-3 promising options that would look nice on him. He has fixated on a very garish option. Aside from the fact that I don't think the shade is flattering, it is a color/pattern that will . . (trying to think of a good way to say this) uh, reinforce stereotypes about boy dancers. (That's an understatement, by the way). He knows this but he is a kid who is confident and frankly thinks it's funny when people make assumptions. In short, he doesn't care. His argument is that the point of an ID shirt is to get noticed and if it is well tailored and he loves it, who cares? He has worked very hard and I want him to be happy with his costume, especially since he plans to retire after this year. Dad rolls his eyes and says "if he's happy, I'm happy". What to do? Grit my teeth and honor his wishes? Go behind his back and get the TC to veto it? TC might be ok with the fabric - really don't know. Not sure what judges would think. I do know what the in-laws will think. :) Suggestions?

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Replies:

[> I'd let him wear what he chooses. I believe it will prob. translate into more confident dancing -- good for him, 12:23:37 07/29/09 Wed [1]


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[> i have to agree. if the TC is ok with it let him do what he wants. if he isnt worried about the stereotypes and will comfortable and confident, what is the problem? -- he might surprise you, 18:03:04 07/29/09 Wed [1]


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[> After many years with ds who is a world placer be careful because there are some adjudicators that like to see boys look like boys and not feminine. We always go with something neat and not overdone. -- Good Luck whatever you decide., 19:27:21 07/29/09 Wed [1]


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[> [> A young teen should decide what color or pattern he wants to wear. I would have him talk to the TC and get his/her opinion, but if it is OKed, then I would let him go for it. Personally, I dont think that a judge isn't going to place a great dancer because of the color or pattern of their waistcoat. But thats just me... -- Boys mom, 21:17:43 07/29/09 Wed [1]


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[> If you can afford it why not have two of them made up, the fabric likes, and the other the fabric you like. Maybe once he sees it on he will change his mind. At least with two he might be able to alternate and start to like the tamer one. -- good luck, 02:03:55 07/31/09 Fri [1]


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[> [> My ds has always picked out his shirts/vests. I would let him wear what he likes. It is your son who is the dancer, the one who has to get up and be "on" and confident. If he likes the color/design, he will feel good and dance well. Of course, we also have to have the TC's OK, but I wouldn't sweat it much...small stuff. Just be the cheerleader. You might even grow to like the new look. -- Irishmama, 11:02:04 07/31/09 Fri [1]


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[> Thanks everyone. I truly appreciate the feedback and perspective. My ds was delighted to get the "ok". -- He'll be the one in the pink leopard print with gold lame., 14:37:59 08/02/09 Sun [1]


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[> [> Hey, my son is going with lime green cheetah print. He won't be alone! -- hope he loves it, 08:51:33 08/04/09 Tue [1]


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[> chosing his own costume -- maureen, 07:28:59 09/18/09 Fri [1]

let him chose, it will boost confidance, but maybe trim the top with a more flattering color, or choose a shirt that is a better color for him and add that color to the design on the vest.


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