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• While I don't know the circumstances, I think what you're experiencing is actually more difficult than a loss from death, susiej. I think women in particular keep plugging along despite the stress, then somewhere down the road it overcomes us. It probably happens to men, too but (at least anecdotally) it doesn't seem as common with them. In Robin's case, I think the manner of his loss was far worse than if his sister had just been found dead somewhere many years before. It's like a knife that keeps pricking at us for years and years, eventually becoming a fatal wound. (NT) -- Elaine, 13:01:23 10/17/07 Wed

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• ((((Sallie)))) We laughed and cried before, during and after my Nan's funeral. Laughed at memories of her and some of the foolish things she did, cried because we'd miss her but were comforted by the fact she had been ready to go and had a strong belief that she was going to join her husband and father (she talked to them and told my aunt they were in the room waiting for her for days before she died). She had dementia the last six years of her life and often her mind took her back to when she was a teenager living at home. It was very hard for those around her, but she was very content living in the past and would alter the world around her to suit where she believed she was. My dad (her son) became her father, and she would call him Dad and ask my aunt to call him so they could talk. I still think of her at the oddest times and have kept a bottle of jam from the last batch she made. (NT) -- Carla, 18:54:20 10/17/07 Wed

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• I'm sorry for what you're going through Suzie. the last 2 months that my mother was alive had to be some of the most difficult in my lifetime. Stretching that out for a long period of time must be very hard to deal with day in and day out. I'll keep you in my prayers (NT) -- JaneH, 03:41:33 10/18/07 Thu
  • thanks guys!!! this is a great place to pour your heart out! (NT) -- susiej, 08:41:10 10/18/07 Thu