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Subject: Re: Spankings will continue


Author:
INXS to Confused
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Date Posted: 05:35:48 09/06/13 Fri
In reply to: Confused 's message, "Re: Spankings will continue" on 04:44:11 09/05/13 Thu

Hi Confused,

In support of what you said about not deriving any sexual pleasure from being spanked, and yet wanting to be spanked because they need to be spanked, I think I can probably relate.

I'm in a NSSR (Non Sexual Spanking Relationship...and yes, I just now made that up!) with an adorable young woman. When we found one another, she never hid the fact that she is married and was looking for spanking ONLY, definitely no sex. I did ask her why she just didn't have her husband spank her; she said he tried, but it just didn't work...that he was afraid of really hurting her and so she would typically end up with a lot of 'love pats' and that was really not what she NEEDED. She said he understood this need of hers and she had been in a similar relationship before, and so he didn't protest. Also, she is fiercely independent, as in "NOBODY owns me, NOBODY tells me how to live my life (including her husband)."

Maybe I should refer to myself as "Confused," because honestly - as one who thought of himself as the premier authority on all things spanking - I'm not quite sure what to make of her. Initially, I assumed that my spanking her would really serve as "early foreplay" so that she could either rush home to her husband once she jumps off my lap, or possibly even replay it in her mind when she is actually having sex with him. I now don't believe either of these scenarios are true.

I would have to say neither of us are sexually aroused when I'm spanking her. Of course I enjoy it...the pre-spank lecture with her pouting, the resistance she shows when "it's time," the eventual baring of her bottom as the spanking progresses, just all the elements of a HOT spanking, and yet while it's enjoyable - at least to me and I can only vouch for myself - it's not really sexual. This girl does things in her life she wants to be held accountable for, things she wants to change and she insists that being spanked for her transgressions is a very strong need of hers. And while I'm pretty much convinced she doesn't really WANT to be spanked, she knows she NEEDS to be spanked.

I discussed this one time with a vanilla fried of mine, also a young woman. She refused to believe that all this girl EVER wanted, was a good spanking. She told me that sooner or later, it is going to escalate into a sexual relationship. I told my spankee girl about the conversation I had with this other young lady and it very easily could have ended our relationship. She told me that if I felt that way, that it was headed toward a sexual relationship, basically she couldn't see me anymore. Personally - NOT being vanilla - I understand that spanking can stand alone without being a prelude to sex - and I told her so. I may not be a certified genius, but I'm not stupid enough to rock this boat and lose what I have...so I never brought THAT subject up again.

My point is, this is all SO very CONFUSING sometimes!

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