| Subject: Re: Questions For Those Who Know. |
Author:
Mary
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Date Posted: 09:56:55 04/09/14 Wed
In reply to:
O.H.M.
's message, "Questions For Those Who Know." on 04:21:09 04/09/14 Wed
I am not sure anyone can answer your questions completely and some of the answers vary from one person to another. Here are my thoughts for what they are worth.
Being spanked is distressing because of a combination of things. That it will hurt may be the first thing anyone thinks of when they consider the possibility that they might be spanked, but pain isn't the main reason older children to young adults wish to avoid being spanked, I think.
Being told you are in the wrong and knowing you disappointed your parents are big reasons to behave even with no punishment. Being spanked is embarrassing on many levels. Disrobing is only the start. It is a childish punishment, and it causes a loss of control of emotions. It's very hard to act tough or like you don't care what anyone thinks while your butt is on fire, lol. From early teens up, kids try to establish some independence, but you don't look like a big girl while bawling your eyes out over mom's lap, especially with your red rump stuck up in the air.
While even I tell myself that I will avoid being spanked at all costs, it isn't really true. Sometimes I risk it even after considering the possibility of getting caught doing something I shouldn't. I think that is the case for just about everyone. I am 20 and I could move away from home if I really wanted to. Older children could make it very difficult to spank them. Anyone over 18 could have their parents arrested. But, hardly anyone ever does any of that. Kids pull down pants and undies or allow a parent to do it and bend over a knee or piece of furniture to present their bottom for chastisement. That act is embarrassing in itself, btw.
Parents and babysitters (including me) spank because it's a socially acceptable way to punish. Despite people who pretend they see no difference between a spanking and beating a child, spanking is much more accepted than most other ways of inflicting pain. It's unlikely to cause injury unless done in a wild rage. It's easy to control the level of pain. It can last longer than a few seconds which gives the kid time to regret getting herself into that position and tells her that her parent is in control.
Spanking also requires a degree of submission, if the spankee is over about 6. That reinforces parental authority. A child normally won't pull down his pants, bend over, and hold still for just anyone who happens to be mad at him.
Teenagers hate being punished because they are trying to establish independence from parents. I think that's true to some extent even for children. They are developing their own interests, ideas, friendships... Being told anything by parents may be seen as a step backward. The childish and embarrassing nature of spanking only makes that worse. If a teenager's friends find out she got grounded, they may see it as a cost of doing things teenagers want to do. They will almost certainly agree that her parents are unreasonable. If a teenager's friends find out she got spanked, she will probably be viewed as a child.
So, being spanked is much worse than stubbing a toe, although spanking may hurt less than some minor injuries. I think quick, pain-oriented punishments, like stomping a foot, that could be sprung on the child before she is aware what's happening would not be as effective. Depending on the kid though, other punishments like grounding might be more effective in some situations. For me grounding made me miserable and mad till it was over. The resentment wasn't worth it in my opinion.
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