| Subject: Re: Request for Maddie |
Author:
Kniwm
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Date Posted: 22:59:34 08/19/14 Tue
In reply to:
Maddie
's message, "Re: Request for Maddie" on 18:51:42 08/19/14 Tue
Wow! Those were some great posts. I understand how hard it can be to open up about these things. I find it can leave me feeling a bit guilty/embarrassed, yet also relieved. That's the nice thing about discussing these things online. You can find others with similar interests and discuss things somewhat anonymously. I know, even then, it can still be hard. I do have some questions but feel free to ignore any that you're not comfortable answering right now.
I can related to quite a bit of what you said. Though I'm not fascinated by poor hygiene I can certainly understand your interest and encourage you to explore it and post about it if you wish. I know smell is a very powerful sense and pheromones are also very stimulating. I myself am fairly smell oriented. While it doesn't play a huge role in my fetishes, it does definitely play a role. I admit, I do have a tendency to smell certain objects.
It sounds like we were both quite shy growing up. (Well, actually I still am.) I always tended to hang back and listen for signs of things that interested me. I do recall hearing some parents discussing suppositories and I was just blown away. I'm sure I spent a lot of time thinking about my friend getting them. I too would look things up in books but didn't tend to find much of interest. All the best stuff was found later online. I am a bit curious how you learned about suppositories and enemas? Was it from overhearing parents talking or did you get some yourself? I knew about suppositories because I got them when I was quite young. I don't think I learned about enemas till much later, even though I had inadvertently given myself one when I was playing. Also, when I was in my teens, my younger sister had a couple bouts of constipation and required suppositories and an enema. You can bet I was listening closely. She hated getting them just as much as I had (or at least it sounded that way). I was SO jealous and wished it was me in her place. Sometimes I think I should have pretended (or maybe the proper word is "admitted") to be constipated so I could get them but I was way too embarrassed to do anything like that.
I have to say, the way it sounds like things went with you and Kailey and her mom seem quite good. I know how hard (yet liberating) it must have been to write that email but it was probably good that you did. I honestly can't imagine what that first session with Kailey's mom must have been like but I wish I could experience something like that. The spanking and suppositories is something I deeply crave. I know you said the suppositories were quite painful and humiliating but I'm curious how you feel about them now? Do you feel they add something positive to the experience and do you still fantasize about the concept or are they just too horrible?
I'm also curious if you know how they're made or what they're made of? Does Kailey ever make them or just her mom? From your description it does sound like they have a laxative component (which could be glycerin, soap, or something else). I still don't understand why I'm so fascinated by them but I am. For some reason I seem to be more fascinated by the laxative aspect than the irritant (burning/stinging) aspect, even for punishment. In my fantasies I tend to imagine the punisher administering suppositories with a strong laxative effect and making me hold them for a good while, during the rest of the punishment. In addition to all sorts of spanking, I also imagine the inclusion of things like corner time, writing lines, etc. You've already mentioned the humiliation that comes with this type of punishment. I think that's something that fascinates me about it as well. It also involves giving up control of your bowels (a basic bodily function) to someone else. I think this may play into our desire to give up control to another.
I meant to mention this earlier but forgot. I too felt my sexuality did not develop quite normally, though not exactly in the way you mentioned either. For me, everything seemed to center around the bottom. I didn't tend to fantasize about sex but rather things that related to the bottom (suppositories, enemas, rectal temps, other insertions, spanking, etc.). I was (and still am) attracted to women but not nearly as strongly as these other things. It was really confusing and embarrassing back then. Really, the ultimate fantasies for me are ones involving a woman administering those things to my bottom. It sounds like you can probably relate to that.
Well, I hope you don't get in trouble for being online but I'm enjoying our discussion.
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