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Subject: Hahaha 5. A message to all the kids: just be smoking hot and you'll do fine


Author:
eloise
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Date Posted: 20:27:06 07/08/20 Wed

Top Ten Things I'd Like To Say Now That I'm Miss Universe (as presented by Amelia Bega of the Dominican Republic)

10. First thing I'm gonna do is pardon Martha Stewart
9. Don't bother asking for my number unless you're Mr. Universe
8. Without makeup, I look like Don Rickles
7. Not only am I Miss Universe -- I have just been named editor of "The New York Times"
6. My accent is fake
5. A message to all the kids: just be smoking hot and you'll do fine
4. Now that I got the title, I'm just gonna sit on my ass and eat pancakes
3. Tomorrow the tiara goes on e-bay
2. I can't believe Letterman cut his finger making spaghetti -- what a jackass
1. I corked my bra

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