Subject: Re: Patchwork families |
Author:
Kayla
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Date Posted: 02:19:58 04/28/18 Sat
In reply to:
Kayla
's message, "Patchwork families" on 02:39:42 04/21/18 Sat
Hi again and thanks for both comments. For sure, my boyfriend's the one who would have to explain the change and it can only ever work if he'll have my back on this. He's optimistic about it, but he doesn't have actual experience with spanking (or even getting spanked), so my advice is important to him and I still feel unsure. I'm not at all saying that 10/11 is too old to get spanked, just that it might be too old to start getting spanked. When it comes to explaining such a change, I agree that the fairness aspect is something that kids will instantly grasp, but from their point of view the easier solution to that would be to stop spanking my own daughter. Briefly the extra info that Uwe asked for: my daughter is 9, she gets it about 2 or 3 times a month, I use only the slipper, but I use it hard and fast, so we are not just talking about some light swats. The aim is to teach her obedience and responsibility, but also endurance and the self-confidence that comes with knowing you have it. I can already see signs of that in her and I worry it might go away if I stop spanking her already. I've seen my boyfriend's kids most weekends during the past five months, and I think they accept me, the girl openly, the boy hiding it behind a cool "whatever" attitude. Their mom died from complications during childbirth, so they don't really miss her in terms of conscious memories of her, but my impression is that they miss having a mom. They had nannies, but that's not the same, and having me around won't be the same either. They are both healthy and sensible kids. Anyway, I'd love to read more comments, also from moms who've been in similar situations.
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