Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Mothers Raising Boys as Girls

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Date Posted: 08:08:10 11/08/15 Sun
Author: Aelita
Subject: Debbie, It's Never Too Late
In reply to: Debbie 's message, "I rewrote my childhood" on 18:02:48 11/03/15 Tue

Hi Debbie. I read your story. It's never too late. I have known ladies older than you who did:

https://www.linktv.org/shows/prism/flying-solo-a-transgender-widow-fights-discrimination

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/sportsnews/article-3052312/Kellie-Maloney-known-Frank-makes-return-boxing-promotions-gender-switch-year.html

My situation was different from yours -- I was intersex -- but still had to deal with religious socially conservative non-accepting parents. I was never a "man" so I don't know what that's like. I left home at sixteen to go to university and left boy's clothes and the externally imposed male persona behind and could never go back. My mother used to send me a plane ticket to visit during the holidays and would drive to the airport to come pick me up only to drive away and abandon me after seeing me. I played this game for five years and spent five Christmas Eves sleeping in the airport. After graduation I joined the ranks of the jobless homeless poor -- and I come from a well off upper class family.

I know what it's like to date really nice good looking guys only to have them reject you. I know what it's like to have people you thought were your friends one day just turn away and shun you as if you never existed. I know what it's like to be suddenly fired from a job for no reason -- but you know why and they know why and you know that they know that you know why -- and you bloody well can't do a damn thing about it. I've experienced all the bad things about being a woman -- stalking, lewd male behaviour, attempted rape, jilted at the altar, sex discrimination -- and not many of the good things like family, friends, and love and romance.

It's been fifteen years now since I left home and lost my family. If I knew then what I know now I'd still do the same thing. I knew there would be some discrimination but it was far worse than what I imagined. Today things are better but unfortunately for me I've had to live and work in the rural Southern and Western parts of America for survival reasons and that makes things worse.

The best advice I can give you is to not worry about your age and appearance and tell your family, friends, employer, etc. that yes, you are one of "those people." If you don't it will continue to eat you from the insides and make your life miserable. It will be difficult at first but if people will be more supportive than you might think. Since you are a working adult take some time off from work if you can and just practice everything until you get it right and find your own personal style. There are plenty of guides and information on the Web.

My father was an American Army surgeon and he used to quote the baseball player Satchel Paige who said "don't look back -- something might be gaining on you." You can't change the past but you can change the future. Good Luck :)

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Replies:

Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Debbie (Hopeful), 21:46:39 11/08/15 Sun
- Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Aelita, 09:14:06 11/09/15 Mon
  - Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Dustin, 17:24:55 11/11/15 Wed
    - Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Aelita, 14:49:08 11/12/15 Thu
      - Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Helen, 19:56:07 11/12/15 Thu
        Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Tabatha, 11:35:53 01/31/16 Sun
        Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Aelita, 20:10:54 01/31/16 Sun
        Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Jen, 18:40:52 02/02/16 Tue
      - Re: Debbie, It's Never Too Late -- Richard, 11:50:18 11/13/15 Fri