Re: How would you respond? -- Mothers Raising Boys as Girls

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Date Posted: 17:15:23 06/19/15 Fri
Author: Richard
Subject: Re: How would you respond?
In reply to: Joanie, 's message, "Re: How would you respond?" on 13:29:18 06/19/15 Fri

Joanie, thanks for your response. I think a lot of why my wife is as upset about it as she is doesn't revolve so much around the way my mother chose to help me understand, but that there may have been other motivating factors that had my mother wanting me to dump my male side. Specifically, my mother and father had an extremely bitter divorce and I was a lot like him. He's not a bad man in any way (he's not perfect either) but it was such a rough divorce that they did not speak more than a few sentences to each other for over twenty years.

My wife isn't against gay or transgender people in the least, our best friend is post-op TG. My wife is a strong woman, and maybe that is why she and my mother never saw eye to eye.

Even so, I really asked this question out of curiosity regarding what I went through. I wanted to see if others had similar thinking or not. I remember distinctly sitting on the couch in mom's clothes, head to toe, both under and on top, while she asked me if I liked the clothes or not, and told me I would pass for a pretty girl if my hair were done up and I had some makeup on. I did want to see if I could pass, and she said we didn't have time to do it that night which was when she offered to make clothes available for me to dress again.

My stepfather was out of town on a business trip, I guess she called him when I went to bed and they decided that the best way to make things available to me was to get me my own things, so mom took me shopping the next day. She had much the same attitude that you do--no half-measures, you give it your all. She expected that from me, so I learned much of what it took to live life as a girl. The thing that sticks out most in my head was that it was all about details: making sure your dress was beneath you when sitting, keeping your knees together to not show off your underwear, getting makeup right so you look good, walking right, good posture, even things like how the butt on a bikini constantly needs readjusting so it doesn't ride up.

In a lot of ways, it has helped me. My job is one where paying attention to little details is important. Even my wife understands that I'm a better father and husband for it, though I think a lot of her disapproval comes from a different source. Hell, our son has come out as gay, and our biggest upset that day was that his math homework wasn't complete.

While the question I asked my mom wasn't about whether or not I could try being as a girl, I'm curious if I really left her an option other than that?

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Replies:

Re: How would you respond? -- Joanie, 03:37:41 06/20/15 Sat