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Date Posted: 00:35:07 10/20/10 Wed
Author: Gaymon Porter
Subject: Who are Judas Jack-Off and Dash Dingle-Dream from October 15? (inside)
In reply to: Fred Villanegro 's message, "Does anyone actually get anything out of those silly Ted Casablanca Blind Items?" on 17:06:28 05/02/10 Sun

Well, screw us with no lube, Judas Jack-Off sure has gotten more ballsy, lately! And we mean that in many dirty ways, trust. Now, last time we checked in on poor ol' closeted Judas, he was pathetically trying to cultivate a domestic-front for the media, engaging in various exciting pastimes with his ersatz honey. Didn't work. In fact, Judas and his woman's shared-outing thing so colossally misfired (and Judas never got the desired press he really wanted from it), Judas has now taken to the exceptionally seedy activity of.... Cheating on his fake (female) significant other! And not with the poor, put-upon, on/off boyfriend, Dash Dingle-Dream he usually cheats with, but, with...other women! Frequent visitors to the place Judas and Dash most often occupy complain of seeing Judas "always" hauling in some random chick to his bedroom. "Looks pretty obvious to me what's going on," snipped a babe who's been over to the boys' hang-pad recently. "I mean, come on." This is just beyond gross. It's bad enough Judas has tortured Dash enough with the People-mag arranged chick in his life, but, now he's got to tag on one-night standsójust in case the press finds out the real deal, that he prefers guys? Sorry, but, this one's getting beyond anything even Shafterella Shoshstein would ever dream up for the rags! And that's saying something. Get help, Jude. And fast. You are not well. It Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Taylor Lautner, Vince Vaughn.
MORE: If there's one Vice you all just can't get enough of it's Judas Jack-Off. We hear you loud and clear, so this week we're giving JJO his very own archive page packed with all the debauched deets on this very D.L. dude. Here is his rarely sweet, always skanky tale.

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