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Subject: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Luke
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Date Posted: 20:19:10 02/28/18 Wed

I'm new here and can empathise with many of the accounts I have read on this forum. I grew up in the 1970s when corporal punishment was very much the norm.

A watershed moment for me was hearing the conversation that ensued after my mum complimented my friend James' mum, telling her how well he behaved and how polite he was. She replied that he wasn't an angel and sometimes needed a spanking, and then began a detailed discussion on the merits of corporal punishment.

The reason the conversation stuck in my mind was because I vividly recall my mum telling me that she wished I was more like James, and that she was too soft with me - something James' mum had suggested. I think I was six years old at the time and, though I had been slapped, I had never been formally spanked like I was soon after. My mum's attitude seemed to have been influenced by that one conversation.

Did anybody else experience this?

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
PeterK50
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Date Posted: 08:42:38 03/04/18 Sun

I remember summer evenings my parents & neighbors would sit in lawn chairs in the garage with the overhead door open, drinking, chatting & smoking cigarettes, this was the middle 60's.
I recall them talking about kids & discipline & my Mon pointing at me & saying in an off-handed way, "This one gets the paddle on his bare fanny now & then." One of the neighbor girls gave a little giggle & I felt about an inch tall. I seemed pretty normal to be spanked, all the dad's I knew were WWII vets & kids feelings were not a big concern.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Jer
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Date Posted: 16:17:52 03/04/18 Sun

Hi Luke. To the best of my knowledge my parents never talked about my spankings with anyone else (aside from each other). That was in the 50s and 60s.

In the 90s I did hear of my nephews' spankings occasionally, but only in passing no extended discussions.

I did tell one of my nephews once, when he'd really gotten out of line at my house, that I'd threaten to tear his butt up but that we both knew I'd never raise a hand against him so that would be pointless. But he did get the message that I was really disappointed in his behaviour.

There was another occasion, one Christmas day, when the same nephew was playing with a soccer ball with his cousin. He kicked it and hit his little sister in the fa e with it, intending to kick it over her head. I was the only adult around and felt I had to do something. I first tended to my niece of course and made sure she wasn't badly hurt. She then went back inside.

I stopped the boys playing and got in my nephew's face and told him that he had hurt his sister. I told him to go in the house and apologize to her. He could tell I wasn't happy with what he had done at all, and particularly disappointed that he had just gone back to playing with the bal with his cousin.

Had he been mine I'd have blistered his bottom right there on the spot. Well I say that. I'm his uncle not his dad.

I did speak to his dad before they left, my brother in law. I told him that was the first time I'd ever jumped in his son't face but since I was the only adult present, I felt I had to say something. He assured me that he was fine with what I'd done. And I told him that the boy probably should have been spanked on the spot, but I didn't feel that was my call to make (a big difference from when I was growing up...it would have been an uncle's call to make then).

Actually I don't think I could have hit my nephew. I'm too much of a softie. I love him as much as I love anyone in the world and I don't think I could have brough myself to give him he spanking he needed...left that up to his dad.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Jonathan
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Date Posted: 20:30:27 03/09/18 Fri

I grew up in the 50s & 60s don't really recall my and other mother talking about how to spank, but my mother certainly told a college age girl who lived with us for four year how to spank including a live demonstration on me.

Mostly what I recall was Mom talking with other moms about what I'd done and why she'd had to spank me and getting similar stories in return. I'd usually leave if such a conversation started, but all too often, I couldn't because I was standing in the corner bare bottom showing teh other mother exactly how Mom had spanked me

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Em
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Date Posted: 18:23:06 03/04/18 Sun

It didn't happen to me directly as my mother was already a proponent of "a good spanking" for most of our childhood misdeeds. But one time a new family with a girl and her two brothers joined our Church and the girl wound up in my classroom. She acted quite spoiled and her younger brothers were pretty unruly in Church and Sunday School. Some of the mothers in the congregation must have counseled those parents about discipline and spankings because about a month later the father marched one of the little boys out in the middle of a sermon when the boy refused to stop kicking the pew in front of them. A few minutes later they returned and the boy's face was red and he had both hands covering his bottom. I imagine his bottom was red too. Anyway, the boys started to behave themselves and made friends with the rest of the kids. Their older sister never really became close friends with me but we would talk on occasion, sometimes in school and sometimes after Church. She told me that she wished they had never joined our Church - she was happy for her younger brothers to finally be disciplined but in her mind she was too old for spankings and should have been immune. I think we were 9 or 10 years old. Apparently her mother had taken the wooden spoon to her bare bottom on several occasions as well as using it frequently on the backsides of her brothers. I was not sorry for her at all!

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Dan
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Date Posted: 16:34:59 03/05/18 Mon

Luke,

If my parents needed any encouragement it happened before I was aware of it. They never needed a push as far as I can remember.

They talked about my spankings and those of my brothers frequently, or at least it seemed that way then. It was just a matter of fact like James' parents.

I didn't need any encouragement, it was the way I was brought up. I followed the example set for me and what I believe is effective and right.

My parents may have influenced other parents to take a more strict hand with their children. Not sure but they were not shy about letting other parents how you kept boys in check.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
john (maybe so)
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Date Posted: 11:34:25 03/06/18 Tue

I do remember over hearing conversations of adults discussing spankings. Particularly I remember my mother telling a friend that she thought we kids in the family wanted to be spanked and it helped us when we were contrary and difficult. I thought, how wrong she was as I feared them and the associated pain. She spanked my older silblings more than me and that bothered me, being the fair haired pet.
So it was a relief when I did get spanked, especially the few times with a hair brush. I was by nature a cooperative kid but somehow I felt I deserved a spanking.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Luke
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Date Posted: 03:06:22 03/08/18 Thu

Thanks for your replies!

I've never really spoken to my mum about the sudden escalation in her disciplinary methods. I felt being spanked was humiliating as well as painful, and obviously being spanked bare bottom added to that feeling.

My mum grew up in a time where children were seen and not heard - an expression my maternal grandmother used - and she perceived my boisterousness as potential delinquency. It may be coincidental that she began to spank me more formally then, however I think she was influenced by my friend's mother whose parents were tyrannical.

I remember James' sister spilling something on the carpet and her mother hysterically cleaning the spillage before dragging his sister off to a room upstairs and, despite the noises being muffled, being quite perturbed by the crying and screams I could hear. She was a few years younger than us, and I wouldn't have been more than ten years old, probably younger.

I never feared my parents in the same way as James did, and given some of the accounts I have heard or read about, coupled with my own memories and experiences, I think I got off very lightly. My dad was a quiet, henpecked man and my mum was more neurotic than fierce, and I think she felt that I would become a hooligan if I was not respectful of authority! After she saw A Clockwork Orange she had nightmares, so she said, and football hooliganism and later punk both seemed to trouble her. Taken in that context it is not hard to see what motivated her.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Jacquard
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Date Posted: 11:44:21 09/02/20 Wed

Move it to punishment in general and I was always hearing this kind of conversation at second hand. Example: I understand (never I've heard or Mrs. X says) that Lawrence X washes and waxes his father's car every Saturday. (That involved washing the car, wiping it dry, applying was and letting it dry, then polishing it off. This was 1950. There goes all of Saturday morning. I had a paper route to deliver, customer payments to collect, two cows to milk and a barn to help clean. There goes Saturday afternoon. The payoff: When asked directly, Lawrence said I did that one Saturday last month as a birthday present for my dad. But not every Saturday at all. Every conversation with Mrs. X put similar ideas into my mother's head.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Jimmy J.
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Date Posted: 13:35:56 10/04/20 Sun

My parents would have spanked, regardless. Though the few times when non-family members were present when I was receiving a spanking, they all commended my dad on his strict parenting style. That was in the 70s and 80s.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
Johan
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Date Posted: 04:43:05 10/24/20 Sat

Jimmy, do you remember were those comments of other adults on the parenting style supportive or critical?

I guess every kid's nightmare would be parents sharing spanking ideas with each other. I hated that! My parents were discreet not to embarrass us in front of other people, but there was some conversation with other parents and some ideas of discipline and possibly spanking methods definitely spread.

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[> Subject: Re: Parents talking about spanking with friend's parents?


Author:
rebeccag1
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Date Posted: 08:04:02 10/24/20 Sat

Both my parents did it and we do it our church is a community when I grew up in the 90s and now and it was and is pro spanking . But growing up my friends and I discussed friends spankings and our spankings girls and women gossip more .

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