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Subject: Re: Cooperation Author: Randy [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 03:38:14 02/27/13 Wed In reply to: Mark Athlete to Randy 's message, "Re: Cooperation" on 06:54:12 02/25/13 Mon Hi, Mark. I see it this way ... In family it is essential to have a fundamental agreement on where things are going and a fundamental trust in each other: Children trust their parents that they won't do them harm and parents trust their children that they grow into their freedom and responsibility without needing constant supervision. Finding such an agreement early on - on what is the right thing to do - is an essential task of parenting. Any punishment situation is a moment of disagreement (parents disagree with something their child did) and ideally the end of it would be agreement again (the child sees what (s)he did wrong), but it is important to keep in mind there is a chance of more disagreement (children feeling parents have a personal grudge or see no other way of establishing power over them). This should be avoided, otherwise things will go very wrong! Don't underestimate your children, they can feel certain things quite well. What I'm meaning to say here is - "cooperation" means not just a child accepting whatever punishment parents have for them, in the end it means both parents and their children working together towards a common goal. They're not on opposite sides, they should most of the time be at the same side. At times they end up on opposite times when something is not right but if things are going well otherwise, children will want to get back on the same side as their parents and say: "I have done wrong here, what could I do do make up for it?" Of course that's an ideal situation that will rarely occur, but it's a goal we could all work towards. Randy [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]