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Welcome, first of all I'd like to thank you all for reading this. I appreciate any feedback. I know alot of you have been married for a LONG time before hearing the news and I can't imagine how horrible that would be! I've been with my BOYFRIEND for just three years. We have three children. (The oldest, is my son from a previous relationship.) Anyway.. I didn't catch him sleeping with another man, I never found gay porn on our computer, nor did I ever question his sexuality in any way. Actually he did say I asked him sometime ago if he was gay although I honestly don't remember that. I did notice ALOT of text messages on our phone bill to this guy he lived with as a roommate when I first met him. He rarely talks to this man but during the time of those messages I happened to be out of state with our children. I noticed and asked him why there was so much communication from the day I left till the day I returned and none since... he said he was bored. It was normal conversation and I have absolutely nothing to be concerned about. That almost was enough to hear before letting it go but I guess I couldn't completely. My stomach was in knots. So I approached him a little later as gentle as possible. I reassured him of my love and told him my love has no conditions. It was incredibly hard to spit this question out but I did, I asked if there was ever anything sexual that has happened between him and this roommate. He admitted to some homosexual experience he had in his highschool years with an older man. He followed immediately with statistics he's heard about men experimenting with other men and he told me not to worry, I've never cheated on you, I never will but if I were to, it would be with a woman not a man. Then he said not to ask him ANY questions. Not to ever bring this up! I couldn't just keep quite. I thanked him for sharing that with me. And I asked, what about the roommate? Oral? Anal? I guess that would show me to what extent this was to.?... he looked at me and said dont ask me that. Anyway it's been almost two weeks now. He's shared a little bit more info. He has told me that him and this roommate have shared a bed for the 3 years they lived together. That have had sex. He says he didn't like it. That he didn't want it. He felt he had to to live there. This guy allowed him to live there rent free EVERYTHING free. He was Awol from the marines. He was scared to be shipped off for the 3rd time. Scared to die in war and this was his only escape. I've asked him if maybe he is repressed gay or bi. I asked if he thinks of men when he masturbates. He says NO! I told him my main concern is if we continue this relationship, he will realize he's not satisfied down the road and we will end up like alot of you. My stomach is in knots and my heart is aching. Its so hard to focus and tend to my children. Is it an insane question to ask if this guy could really have done this out of desperation? Could he possibly be straight. He has always been so in to me. We have always had such great sex. He's all about pleasing me. He always admires my body. He checks out girls all the time. I've caught him watching porn a couple time and its always been women masturbating. Im confused. But I can't imagine this working now that I know what I know. If I end it. Im worried that I 'll regret it. That I'll split this family up and there is a chance he IS straight. Could he have some sort of sex addiction? What am I supposed to do? I have been to a few therapist. Haven't found one that I truly like so much but will continue because I haven't talked about this. to any friends or family and I KNOW I can't keep it to myself. I have an appointment to get std/hiv tested too. Another thing is, he has no idea what im thinking.. he thinks we just dandy and life is just goin on and this is NO BIG DEAL! How can anyone just figure that? Please let me know ur thoughts. Thanks so much for hearing my mess.
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