Author: ... [Edit]
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Date Posted: 09:42:19 04/18/03 Fri
Dear Sox Fans,
For those of you who can read, we on the ‘North-side’ wanted to share our concern over recent events at Comis… (sorry), US Cellular Field. Some of you may remember when a kind Cubs fan politely took a cap from a Dodger's player to give to a young boy in a wheelchair, which led to a slight VERBAL misunderstanding between the Dodgers and the family-oriented fans at the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. You see, on the ‘North-side’ of Chicago, ballpark confrontation invariably ends sans nudity, tattoos, blood, arrests and newspaper headlines …
The sorry set of events at "US Cellular Field" last evening only stands as a contrast between the two groups of fans. In addition to violating their paroles, these ne’re-do-wells have further humiliated the carnies, pipe-fitters locals, wife-beaters, and toothless hags that make up Chicago's more than twenty-some-odd Sox fans. We on the Northside would like to extend our condolences to all Sox fans, in jail and out, for this humiliation. We hope that once we've finished rebuilding Iraq, that US Forces can begin the much more daunting task of restoring law and order to Bridgeport, Canaryville, the Cook County Correctional Center, and other territories where Sox fans suffer the indignities of alcoholism, domestic violence, and sodomy.
Yours truly,
Concerned Cubs Fans of Chicago
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