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Date Posted: 14:47:00 11/11/05 Fri
Author: Tr'ln(Latroth) and True(Zairith)
Subject: Hey, Talla! Reposting up here... merg...

((Just thought it would be easier to talk up here... and don't worry about Talla's reaction! I really wasn’t expecting much else! ^_^ It makes it so much more fun to play Tr’ln now, too.))

Tr’ln mutely knocked True’s hand from his shoulder, eyes meeting Talla’s. He had before been nervous, but now that it was out, he felt oddly calm. She knew the truth, and now it was just her opinion. Tr’ln was honest with her—and if that didn’t satisfy her, he would go teach True to take care of Zairith, leaving Talla to herself. But... he wouldn’t go without giving his side of the story, and his opinions now. He glanced back at True for a moment, who was watching him slightly emotionlessly. When True had found out, she had reacted strangely. Instead of assuming Tsuga’s side, she had simply never brought up the subject again. She wanted to keep a friend, no matter how bad he had messed up. She’d quietly observed, and found him trustworthy, and so had assumed he’d changed. Now, with Talla, she was angered, but trying to find a loophole to make him innocent—but she was fuming behind her eyes, as far as Tr’ln could tell. She felt the woman’s side, naturally. If he had told a guy the same story, they’d be able to assume his side much easier—while they may not agree, they’d understand the temptation of leaving that life forever. Before, he’d thought he would do anything for Talla, but suddenly he understood that he didn’t need her if she would condemn him. He’d give her his two-cents. Then, it was up to her whether they remained friends.

He straitened in his chair, and looks at her with a look of stone—no emotion, except perhaps a strange regret. “Talla... I won’t lie.” He took a breath to calm himself, though for some odd reason he didn’t need much help; natural calmness had settled at last. “I made the wrong decision, without thinking of what would happen. She probably will never forgive me, but I left.” If she tried to speak, he put a hand up to silence her. He needed to get this in before she yelled, and he lost heart. “It was stupid, foolish, and childish, and I realize that. But I can’t change it now, so there’s no use scolding me. I believe a near decade of mental Threadfall ((in replace of H***)) has changed me more than anything you can say. Tsuga hates me. Trag hates me. For a long time, I’ve hated myself. But that makes no difference. No matter who hates me, or how much I regret it, I can’t change it.” He paused, frowning. “Both you and Tsuga are of higher rank than me, and I know you can—and possibly will—make my life as difficult as is in your power, but I can do no more. I don’t ask for your forgiveness if you don’t wish to give it... just your tolerance.”

Strangely, Tr’ln’s voice refused to shake, and his demeanor was very calm. He could only wait now—and hope. True was still behind him, and he could feel her gaze shift from him to Talla. Well... if Talla didn’t trust him, at least he still had one friend.

((I’m thinking of having Trag walk up.... Hm. Heh. *Pets Tr’ln* I love my baby... so glad Tsuga let me have ‘im.))

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