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Subject: Re: New Stepmom For Joan & Brenda

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Date Posted: 08:47:38 06/28/16 Tue
In reply to: Joan 's message, "Re: New Stepmom" on 13:57:34 06/27/16 Mon

Hello Joan and Brenda,

Answering in sequence or not is OK either way.

Males, especially white males, especially middle class and above males, are the most privileged group in Western culture. We are larger, better paid, receive deference and so on. A sense of arrogance and entitlement develops unconsciously from an early age. Your stepson has absorbed this world view to the extent he fits the above profile. The effects are subtle and pervasive.

On the other hand, we males benefit when we learn some more feminine traits and behaviors. Listening before acting, understanding and empathizing before giving advice, not giving unsolicited advice, valuing cooperation over competition and more.

I feel he and his sisters ought to be aware of male privilege and how it affects his behavior. Since it's so pervasive and subtle, it's difficult to identify, but not when he is disrespectful. Call such acts rude and an example of male privilege. If he's rude to his sister and earns a spanking and she is mature enough to understand spankings are a consequence and not primarily a titillating experience, invite her to take a few swats (not with him over her lap).

At this point, I begin to feel a bit out of my depth. I wasn't spanked as a child nor did I spank as a stepparent. Neither did my former wife, the kids' mother. (She and I spanked each other privately for fun.) I know two women I respect in this area, Aunt Helga of www.petticoated.com and Ms Julie Wilson, a poster on this forum. I'll seek their advice, but also venture a suggestion.

Itís important for people on different sides of an issue to develop empathy for each other. Characteristically, those with privilege donít develop empathy for those without. After all, whatís in it for them? Consider making a family game, explicitly to develop his empathy with his sisters as young women, of episodes when he wears girls clothes, takes on traditional female roles (unless this barrier is already breached in your home). Swear the girls to secrecy outside the home with consequences to them. Donít frame this as a punishment but as empathy-building. Do it for prescribed periods, growing longer each time. Continue until the giggling and embarrassment diminishes and brotherís girl time becomes routine. See whether this diminishes his arrogance and increases his respect for women and girls. If it backfires, discontinue. However, if it works, he should develop empathy and the girls should feel empowered.

As for your arousal, your attitude of acknowledgement and acceptance seems right on. Bare spankings of teens will necessarily have a sexual content. Continue to treat this as matter of fact. Give everyone time alone afterwards, including yourself. I suggest you talk to the girls privately about their own curiosity and arousal. Their brother is off limits and unnecessary for their sex ed, despite some of the questionable posts on this forum. Teen girls have more opportunities than they could possibly ÖerrÖhandle to learn anything they want about male arousal and ejaculation.

Your obedient servant,


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Re: New Stepmom For Joan & BrendamicheleFFS07:05:30 06/29/16 Wed

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