Author:
Justin
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Date Posted: 19:10:01 10/12/20 Mon
I just reread your initial post and there is really a lot to digest in it upon rereading it. After reading the first paragraph is it safe to say that you love this girl and would almost consider her as part of the family. I believe godsend is the word you used. If this is the case, then I think it would be equally fair to say that Amanda would consider you like family and probably sees being evicted as more than just getting kicked out of somewhere to live, but probably feels like she has let you down and has hurt the relationship she has with you. She was probably crushed when you held firm with your conviction to evict her.
This leads me to my first question. How many times did you have to talk to her about these problems you were having with her breaking your rules? You said you had been down this road before, so I have to wonder, what was said the previous times you talked to her? Did you threaten that continued behavior and breaking of rules could result in her being evicted? It sounds like you did have previouse conversations with her regarding her behavior and they obviously went unheeded. Perhaps a firmer hand is needed now.
Which beings me to my next topic and questions. Do you feel like if you go ahead with trying this spanking thing out on her as discipline that it will be a one time thing and then it is over? Or do you feel like more then one lesson might be necessary? Do you see yourself as a mentor or parental type figure in this girls life? She helps you babsit your daughters, so you obviously trust her a lot. What do you think your relationship will look like going forward if you proceed with the spanking and how will it impact things going forward between you? And alternatively, how would your relationship with Amanda be impacted if you go through with the eviction?
These are all things I am sure you are already very much considering and they are things I think you should place far more importance on then trying to figure out if this girl has an interest in spanking. It is very possible and probably even likely that her suggestion to punish her was a suggestion done out of desperation. Which brings me to another question. Did she actually say that you should spank her or that you should punish her and spanking was merely implied?
Once you have a good sense of how you are going to proceed, you should probably start with a very honest chat with Amanda. Tell her that her continued breaking of your rules and blatant disregard for them will not be tolerated. Tell her you are standing by you conviction to evict her, however you have also given some very serious thought to what she said about punishment. And just to be clear you tell her that in no uncertain terms you mean spanking. Be honest with her and tell her you struggled a lot with this decision and did not arrive at it lightly. Then give her a choice, a chance to back out as it were. Tell her that either the eviction stands or she can chose to take a spanking. You must make it clear, that this will be a spanking on your terms. She has to agree to that if she going to stay. I would also make clear that going forward this previously bad behavior or breaking of these rules will no longer be tolerated. I know you said they aren't the worst things, but you do have to consider your own daughters and the influence this will have on them.
And this brings me to the last point for the night, how you will spank her if that is the direction you go. Like Bodback said spank her much like you do your own daughters. You said you try to spank privately as much as possible, which now on more reflection is probably better if you do spank Amanda. Not to contradict Kathy, but I don't think your daughters need to see Amanda getting spanked, however I still stand by what I said as far as them being in the house while it is happening. I do think if Amanda has been having a negative influence on your daughters that having them hear her being punished may make them think twice about doing it themselves when they realize that even adults can get spanked. You should however talk to your daughters first and make it very clear to them what is going to happen and why it is happening. I still think they will be far less devastated if you punish her then if you evict her.
I am sorry for all my ramblings. Once again, I hope these thoughts have been helpful and I hope my questions make you think as well. I do wish you all the best of luck with making this decision. You are certainly not taking Amanda's suggestion lightly which means you do care for the girl, otherwise you would have dismissed it out of hand and not looked back. Again, best of luck and please let us know how it goes. This Amanda girl seems like a really sweet girl by whst you say and you two may end up becoming closer depending on what you decide to do. Best wishes!!
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