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EggHead to Justin
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Date Posted: 19:12:13 10/14/20 Wed
Sorry if this is kind of hijacking Rental Mom's thread, but I wanted to share a couple of quick thoughts on Justin's personal experience of spanking and desires for it.
Justin, while you and I are a lot alike, there is one key difference in our spanking fetishes. You get off primarily on seeing or reading about other people (and in particular young women) being spanked. My fantasies on the other hand revolve very heavily around being on the receiving end of a spanking. My fetish has a decidedly submissive or masochistic focus. Yours doesn't have that. As you say yourself, it's more voyeuristic. (I do enjoy spanking pictures or videos too, but only when a woman is the spanker, and I tend to imagine myself in the spankee's position. So I'm getting a rather different type of thrill to what you do.)
Ergo, it's not really a surprise to me that you didn't enjoy the experience you had with your dominatrix. It's not actually your thing. That said, it's also possible the dominatrix wasn't very good. There is a kind of "art" to spanking when it's being done for erotic purposes. I'm no expert, but from what I have read, a really good spanking that will give the spankee the right kind of thrills is one that starts fairly gently and gradually ramps up in intensity. So if your dominatrix was just spanking you hard from the get-go, she wasn't doing it right. (Unless of course, that's what you asked her to do.) Some dommes are simply not that skilled in their art. Others may be just plain sadistic and not actually care too much about their "subs".
Certainly, if and when the time comes for me to get spanked, I would want it to be a bit "stop-start". A few light smacks to begin with, then a pause for some "lecturing" (or just to "check in" with me), then a sequence of slightly harder smacks, then another pause (involving lecturing, bottom massage, maybe some light pats), then another set of even harder smacks, and so on in the same pattern until either I or the lady spanking me calls time on it. I think in that way, I would be far more likely to enjoy the experience than if she just started walloping me hard from the outset (though once I'm past the first experience, I'll probably experiment with a few different types of spankings, including hard and fast, to see what works best for me).
With spanking as with anything, you've got to learn to walk before you can run. That's why I want my first spanking as an adult, whenever I may get it, to be along the lines described above. Getting a hard walloping first time up is like trying to fly a plane without having had any training - you're almost certainly going to crash and burn.
Again though, getting spanked is not a thing for you the way it is for me, Justin. As for your craving to be spanked in future, I think what you crave primarily is just accountability. You want some firm boundaries and consequences if you violate them. Spanking could give you that. But so could other things. Really, any other type of punishment that parents mete out to children could probably work. (That is also why, incidentally, I suggested to Rental Mom that she raise the possibility of other types of punishments with Amanda, if the latter's main desire is for simple accountability.)
I think you could easily enjoy your spanking fetish AND have accountability in your life without actually being spanked yourself. That said, spanking could sort of help you in the sense that you don't get off on being spanked the way I do. But if you do want to go that route, seek a dominatrix or professional disciplinarian and not your parents.
One last thing: have you ever come across a blog called Alex in Spankingland? I happened on it a few days ago, and I think it would be right up your alley. Alex is a professional spanking model. You have probably seen her in spanking videos you've watched. She mainly enjoys being spanked, but also likes giving them now and again. So she's pretty much a "switch". Alex is a very articulate young woman with a lot of very interesting observations. I especially enjoyed her account of her very first spanking, even though it was M/F (I like F/M or F/F). She writes a most fascinating account about her reservations before being spanked and the various sensations and emotions she felt during it. The man who gave her that spanking clearly did it right, because she has made a lifestyle and career out of spanking ever since! Anyway, if you haven't read it before, do check it out when you have some time.
I hope I haven't been too forward with this and that these observations will be helpful to you. And now, back to our regularly scheduled thread.
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