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Date Posted:17:03:31 05/31/21 Mon In reply to:
's message, "'Why bare and why over the lap.'" on 07:31:49 05/28/21 Fri
>Hello all. A few days ago I had been reading through
>the posts and saw this from Paige to Brenda K.
>â€œAnother good idea for a thread might be, 'Why bare
>and why over the lap.' I thought to myself yes it
>would. I waited to see if one of them would start a
>posting on it, I didnâ€™t want to seem I was over
>stepping my place, that I was jumping in front of them
>and taking that on, but no one has so I thought I
>I would like to see some takes on these two questions,
>Iâ€™m sure they have been talked about in the past but
>there are so many new that are here including myself
>and following along. Having a 6 year old daughter and
>4 year old son, I just started spanking them back in
>April when I first posted and from advice from Mary
>and others on here I started spanking them over my lap
>on their bared bottom with my hand, I will say that
>once I did it just felt like the natural way to spank
>and I can easily control their little bodies over my
>lap, of course my son isn't spanked as hard or long as
>my 6 year old daughter and all spankings are hand
>only. But I would love to see responses to store away
>in my memory and save on my computer for when my two
>get older and bigger, does size matter with the child?
>I am interested in what you all have to say concerning
>this topic of. 'Why bare and why over the lap.'
The idea that teenage children should be spared the indignity of having their bottoms bared for spanking, that they've somehow earned that consideration by virtue of their date of birth, runs completely counter to my own understanding of the purpose behind punishment. The very nature of an over-the-knee spanking, with all of the attendant formalizing of the act, suggests a no-nonsense penalty for an especially serious transgression. If you're going to say that the disobedient child ought to have known better, surely that should go double for a teenage boy or girl. And if you're a parent who believes that spanking has a place in the raising of responsible and behaviorally accountable children, why would you actively undermine your own disciplinary initiative by pulling back from the unpleasant but necessary harshness of a pants-down bottom warming?
As a family unit, you either have rules to live by or you don't. I'm not talking about the enforced rigidity and restrictiveness of a labor camp, but simply the recognized moral code governing the behavior of parents and their children. Parental authority requires that children respect those guidelines. Failure to do so mandates the imposition of a punishment. The purpose of the punishment is to dissuade the child from repeating the offense.
Children tend to learn incrementally. Patterns of behavior are either encouraged or discouraged, and over time, most kids (not all, but most) adapt to the societal constraints on their conduct as manifested in their parents' disciplinary regimen. If spanking is understood to be part of the corrective program employed within a family, you either want it to mean something to the particular child in an educative sense--or you don't.
The taking down of a child's underpants leaves no room for the sending of a mixed message, as in 'Yes, you're being spanked, but Daddy and I are afraid of what a "real" spanking might do to your delicate psyche, so we're making it a kinder and gentler spanking and we sincerely hope that you behave yourself in future.' Provided that spanking doesn't become a knee-jerk response to run-of-the-mill infractions that are part and parcel of children growing up, the baring of the bottom is an indispensable trigger mechanism for the child's realization that the wrong behavioral choice was made and that a significant price must now be paid as a result.
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