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Date Posted:04:34:24 04/15/21 Thu
I am in love. Charmed. Won over. Official.. Sorry, Irene, but I want to marry this woman. What do you mean, bigamy is illegal in the UK? Alright, alright, so I am old enough to be her father.
Forgive me, I get ahead of myself. Backtrack.
Working predominantly from home these days, as I do, my good wife (she who must be obeyed) has decreed that I get the weekly grocery shopping (woe is me).
There I was at the supermarket, glaring in vexation at the spaces on the juices shelf. Why do they always run out of blueberry juice when I go shopping? I was blissfully unaware as this small boy came careering into me, sufficient to knock me off balance, and I fell onto my rump..
â€śJORDAN! What have I told you about not running in the aisles? You are going to get such a spanking when we get homeâ€ť his irate mother bellows.
Heads turn. There is the reassuring sound of a bottom receiving a good wallop. The young lady (late 20s, I'd guess) fusses over me and makes sure I am not hurt. Just my dignity, I tell her, clambering to my feet. I complement her on subscribing to old-fashioned views on discipline for badly behaved children.
â€śWorked for me growing up,â€ť she says â€śand as Mum says, if it isn't broke, why fix it?â€ť
She has her son (7 or 8, I'd say) apologise to me, which he does meekly enough. I tell him no damage done, but to listen to his mother in the future. We part company, Mum wagging her finger and scolding the boy as they disappeared down the aisle. I visualise Jordan bending over her knee later with his shorts round his ankles, getting his bottom soundly spanked. It pleases me. Accountability for your actions.
Light at the end of the tunnel, or a flash in the pan? The latter alas, I suspect. Still, maybe the tide is turning in favour of spanking naughty children again. God knows, many need it. This young mother seems a convert anyway.