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I am at a loss also with your husbands behavior. I am also with you 100% you didn't do anything wrong, she is your daughter and you have washed her mouth out in the past.
I haven't found any soap better than Ivory, what I do is I have a bar in my boys bathroom and one at the kitchen sink, i have them in see through plastic containers to keep them clean. The bars of soap are only used for this purpose. I will lather up a wash cloth with the bar then wash out their mouths but good and I mean wash, I will bare them first and if they are wearing anything at all its just a T-shirt, I bend them forward so there is no gagging/choking.
Any time I need to soap I also spank, I bare them first and scold as I soap, if I get any pulling or looking away there is a bare bottom to swat. I let them spit before I spank as I don't want them gagging as I spank, but no rinsing until after the spanking.
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