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Subject: Re: Lesson learned?


Author:
Sarah
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Date Posted: 09:44:53 07/04/21 Sun
In reply to: Ivana 's message, "Lesson learned?" on 10:57:28 07/03/21 Sat

Ivana,

I think J brings up the good question of "Did you specify all the chores needed to be done?" Where you, myself and just about all moms feel the children should know what we meant, and I mean when we've gone over chores with them previously, in my experience (especially with boys!), each of the chores needs to be spelled out for them.

Even if you try to give them the "from now on" instructions, I found I still needed to tell my son, each time before he could go to his friends, play video games or any other activity he wished to do 'besides' chores, this is what I want you to do first. And then list it out.

Because if I just told him "I want you to do your chores before you x" (even if he knew what those chores were previously), then he would do just 'some' chores and I would hear the "But I did chores, Mommy!" when I scolded and spanked him for leaving before he finished. So I learned I needed to spell it out to him. Not because he was dumb or incompetent, just because he hated doing chores and tried to do as little as possible before he could play.

So I'm certain you have resolved your situation with your boys by now as it happened a couple of days ago. But on opinion, I can see both sides, just giving a scolding or also giving a spanking. If you have spoken with the boys in the past and said "these are the chores that 'always' need to be done before you go out", then a spanking is in order. But then this is where my recommendation comes in order of always listing the chores specifically before they can go out and play.

However, if it hasn't been made clear to them previously that all of these chores need to be completed before they go out. The attempted prior (one-time?) discussion of these are the chores that 'always' need to be done. Then I could understand if you just gave a scolding. Although, it sounds like they didn't even let you know they had left as you had to ask Vera if the boys had left already. So maybe in that case I feel a spanking should certainly have happened if just for the fact of not telling you before they had left, which they were told to do.

What had you decided to do, Ivana?


Sarah

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: Lesson learned?Mary10:08:18 07/04/21 Sun


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