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I have a feeling this came down to miscommunication (from the other mom) when your daughter was visiting. Whenever I had new friends of my children start visiting on a more regular basis (or stay overnight), I gave clear instructions on my rules. Not only to my children's friends, but also their parents. And would remind my children's friends if it had been awhile since they visited. So they always were aware of my rules and expectations while they were in my home.
I agree, it sounds like the other mom was more strict. Where I don't see anything wrong with being more strict than normal, or spanking publicly at a pool party (I am also a mom that has done so, and will do so again if needed), the different level of rules and expectations in homes can sometimes make it more challenging for the children and especially more confusing if it's not made clear for them when the children are visiting.
In the end, I agree with the others that it was best how you handled it. That it came down to knowing your daughter best, that she hasn't lied to you, and not knowing what the rules and expectations are of the mother.