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I have never felt guilty either. Our before spankings are a controlled and we have a set plan, I have always believe it is important to have a 'usual process', structure to a spanking so its not just a grab and spank.
Ted's compliance and participation is a big part of our entire spanking process. We had a good discussion about this when he was 10 and came up with how we proceed for our spankings. Ted’s spankings are in his room with me sitting on his bed, that is where he chose to be spanked when we discussed spankings, thats where he wanted to be spanked. That was fine with me.
What I will say when Teddy’s behavior is getting close to needing me to spank, “Do we need to have a talk in your bedroom?” He knows what that means. When I have decided I need to spank, ”We need to go upstairs for a talk about your behavior". What this really means is my hand will be doing most of the talking.
If Ted has been or being insolent and disrespectful to me or someone else as when he was to our elderly neighbor or if it some other egregious incident I will tell Him “We need a serious meeting in your room right now!!” This means he will be getting a serious spanking, and he knows this, and it’s a one way discussion.
My rule has always been that spankings are always bare bottom, so I see the results and how his butt is taking it, also the sting is greatly magnified. When we are through talking I ask if he's ready he says yes and takes off his shirt and pants or shorts and lies across my lap I help get him where I want and then I slide down his underpants, presenting to me a bare bottom that needs to be spanked.
Being a good size woman with hands to match, my hard hand spankings have been enough for him, but he does know as we have talked about it, that the door is open in the future if I do decide that we need to add an implement. Be it one of my wood cooking spoons, a small wood paddle or hairbrush.
Last summer 2020 when Teddy became a teen I talked with him and let him know I was going to up his spank total per spanking, he tried to negotiate but I had final say. I upped each level he now gets 20 spanks for light offenses, 30 for moderate ones and 45 for serious offenses.
The first half of what ever the amount of spanks are they are slow spanks sinking my hand into his bottom leaving it there for a split second, the remainder of the spanks are fast but just as hard with my hand bouncing off his bottom. This even with the lesser amount grabs his attention and he cries, our serious spanking, with the 45 Hard hand spanks he is always very animated and cries hard, true “cathartic crying".
When I am through spanking I let Ted lay over my lap for a moment as he cries and I will give his bottom a little rub then I help him up, he will then while crying pulls his own underpants back up, no dancing here, we then cuddle and talk, he keeps his pants off for a little while.