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Subject: Re: Introducing spanking late

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Date Posted: 14:28:18 07/31/21 Sat
In reply to: Nadia 's message, "Introducing spanking late" on 12:25:56 07/31/21 Sat

This is the biggest misconception I find myself defending against some of the comments I've gotten over the years because of how I choose to discipline my kids. Spanking does NOT have to mean brutalization. Are there forms of it that are? Absolutely. But spanking can absolutely be an act of love and I'm so glad that you allowed room for it, because it just frankly works, and since you spank your son in a loving way, he'll always have good structure and lessons built in for life.

I always knew I'd be a spanking mom. I was spanked along with my sister and brother, and we are all very close with our parents. I always say that kids are way stronger than we give them credit for. They can handle some spanks when they need course correction.

>I started with spanking kind of late. I had decided
>early on that I would never spank. I believed it to be
>barbaric and cruel.
>My husband at the time was in favor of spanking, but I
>was strongly opposed. I told him that this was one
>issue I would never compromise on, and that I would
>divorce him immediately if he ever laid a hand on our
>son. He knew I was serious and didn't press the issue.
>My husband and I split when my son was 2 for reasons
>that had absolutely nothing to do with our parenting
>views. I was content to raise him without physical
>What really started to change my mind was talking to
>other "mom friends", and hearing that they spanked.
>Until then, I hadn't really understood that spanking
>could be a loving act. I always assumed parents did it
>out of anger. But I came to realize that it is
>possible to spank lovingly.
>As I thought about it more, I began to think that
>spanking might actually be a good idea. I introduced
>it when my son was 7.
>I gave him advance notice. He had gotten in trouble
>for lying to me, so I took his game system away for a
>day. Obviously he HATED that, but that was his
>punishment. He was too upset to listen, so I decided
>to have the talk about spanking the next day after I
>gave back his game console.
>I explained that there were other ways of punishing
>kids besides taking away video games. I said that I
>have decided to try out a different type of
>punishment. I framed this as a positive: him not
>getting his games taken away.
>I said that the next time he lied, I was going to
>spank him. I was expecting him to have a shocked
>reaction when I said this, but it turned out that he
>didn't know what the word "spank" meant.
>I decided to show him what a spanking was so that he
>would have fair warning. He was wearing only underwear
>at the time of this conversation, so I told him to
>take his underwear off. He was 7, and therefore not
>shy about nudity at all.
>I sat down in a chair and I put him over my lap. He
>thought this was a game, so he was giggling. In a
>dramatic voice, I told him that he was getting three
>I raised my arm up high, and then gently patted his
>butt as I counted off "ONE" loudly. After his third
>light tap, he was laughing.
>I then explained to him that what I just did was a
>pretend spanking. I said a real spanking wouldn't be
>fun. It would hurt a lot and he would probably cry.
>I asked him that if the spanking hurt, would he rather
>get 3 spanks or 10? He obviously said 3. So I told him
>that if he lies to me again, I will spank him, and
>that if he doesn't want more spanks, he will have to
>do exactly what I tell him to when I spank.
>I reminded him that it would hurt but that this would
>be what happens next time, and that he should always
>tell me the truth so that he doesn't have to find out
>what a real spanking is like.
>I then helped him put his underwear back on and let
>him play his video games.

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Re: Introducing spanking lateLucy15:20:45 07/31/21 Sat

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