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Subject: Re: Genuinely stumped

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Date Posted: 17:41:03 08/31/21 Tue
In reply to: Michelle 's message, "Genuinely stumped" on 12:25:50 08/31/21 Tue

>Maybe I’m just too in my head about this, and if I
>am…please feel free to tell me!
>I got a call from my oldest daughter’s school today,
>and here is a brief summary of the situation. I guess
>Addison traded a couple not-so-nice words with another
>girl who ‘started it’ during a break period in
>between classes. This other girl has been on the brain
>for awhile now, and it’s really upset Addy because
>they were once friends. The challenges of being on the
>eve of turning into a teenager.
>Anyways, as Addy’s friend attested to, she started
>to turn around to walk away when the other girl called
>Addison, and her brother, (only one grade lower than
>her) just about one of the meanest words you could
>use: the “R” pejorative for those with mental
>disabilities. Horrible, I know. In response, Addy
>pushed her with some force and she fell. No one was
>seriously physically hurt or anything, but both were
>sent to the principle’s office and we, parents of
>both parties involved, were called. No one was even
>sent home for the day, though they have detention (or
>ISS as they call it now. Not sure why) for the week.
>Now, I get my daughter’s rage, and if that other
>girl was my daughter using that word, she’d be
>getting the spanking of her LIFE! I mean a true bare
>butt blistering. I admit I wish I could’ve done so
>My question is…I don’t know how to handle it with
>my daughter. I have an idea of what to talk to her
>about and how I’m okay with her sticking up for
>herself and her brother, but I just don’t know if I
>should follow through on any sort of punishment.
>So I thought I would bring it here and see what the
>other mom’s thought. Again, maybe I’m
>overthinking, but I’d be happy to take any advice
>you have to share.

Emphasize why it's so important to not respond to words with physicality, even if those words are horrible. Adults wouldn't be able to do it without severe consequences from the law, so your daughter should learn to not be doing that now. If the other girl had started being physical with her, or her brother, then tell your daughter she has your permission to fight back, but ONLY THEN.

I may be in the minority here but I think maybe a good spanking actually is the right thing to do, but it's up to you. If your daughter tries this in high school, nowadays she'd probably be in REALLY big trouble with the system. I know that isn't fair or right, but your daughter needs to learn to control herself enough not to haul off and hit or push like that just because she's mad. She's got a great heart, but you wouldn't be punishing that.

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Subject Author Date
Re: Genuinely stumpedCandace06:23:50 09/01/21 Wed

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